Bill Belichick's bold stand in favor of himself

Wilson, Sherman, Carroll understand challenges 49ers pose

Bill Belichick's bold stand in favor of himself
December 5, 2013, 10:15 pm
Share This Post
Coaches should call their own penalties and measurements at any time during a game – but any time one of them gets one wrong, that coach must submit to a three-minute full-force headlock from Ed Hochuli.
Ray Ratto

The delightfully preposterous 49er E-mail forgot to mention one thing you should keep in mind Sunday: Cheer all you want at all the appropriate times in the appropriate attire, but when the day is done, the locals will either be two games behind Seattle with three games to play, or four games behind Seattle with three games to play.

Also, do try to turn up in Week 16 against Atlanta. It won’t be fun or meaningful viewing, but without your attendance the traffic on 101 will come close to achieving actual manageability.

[RELATED: Joe Montana might miss Candlestick finale]

X X X

Bill Belichick took a bold stand in favor of himself Thursday by suggesting that coaches be allowed to challenge any call ever. He was also standing boldly in favor of his 31 brethren, except when one of them would be playing his team.

Our position is more expansive. Coaches should call their own penalties and measurements at any time during a game – but any time one of them gets one wrong, that coach must submit to a three-minute full-force headlock from Ed Hochuli. Let’s see how they feel about the sanctity of the game when they can feel their teeth going single file.

X X X

Seahawk Michael Bennett couldn’t get a table at a fancy eating joint in town on his own, so he called the restaurant, said he was Russell Wilson, and ended up with a VIP setup . . . even after he showed up at the restaurant and admitted to the maitre’d that being six inches taller, 70 pounds heavier and fully bearded meant that he actually wasn’t Wilson at all.

He and his family still got seated, fully VIP’d and all. Now I eagerly await the news that he put the bill on Wilson’s Discover card – because if you’re going to play, play to win.

X X X

If, as ESPN’s Enrique Rojas reports, Robinson Cano is considering a 10-year, $240 million contract from the Seattle Mariners, I presume we’ll say that he has Jacoby Ellsbury’s new contract to thank. Or Brian McCann’s. Or maybe even Ryan Vogelsong’s.

The point? Baseball money is free, it has nothing to do with there being no salary cap, and don’t you ever forget it.

X X X

Peyton Manning says he is exactly the same quarterback in cold weather as in not-cold weather, which is frankly untrue, because of one fact: No quarterback is better in cold weather than in non-cold weather. No human is better in cold weather than in non-cold weather.

Or if you choose to argue, go sleep on your roof tonight and see how much fun you have.

X X X

And finally, m’colleague (cq) Brian Mitchell told the Buffalo News that he believes the NFL is fiddling with its special kickers’ footballs (hah! Bet you thought that would turn into a slimy double entendre, but I’m far too clever for that) to increase distance. I wouldn’t question anything he says because (a) he is one of the best return men ever, (b) pays attention, and (c) is essentially smart.

I would include (d) that he could crush my pancreas with a hard stare, but I doubt our mutual corporate overlords would not pay for his flight across the country just so he could liquefy my innards. Not that they’re against someone pulverizing my internal organs, mind you. They just don’t want the flight, hotel and meals expensed.

    More Team Talk