Mother Jones' take on Jed York and Mark Davis

Mother Jones' take on Jed York and Mark Davis
September 18, 2013, 9:15 pm
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Ranking the NFL's worst owners without Al Davis is like trying to celebrate Christmas without Santa Claus.
The magazine, Mother Jones

Dashon Goldson fought the law, and the law fought Goldson to a draw. The former 49er-and-current-Buccaneer had his one-game suspension for a helmet-to-helmet hit Sunday reduced by former player and independent appeals officer Matt Birk to a $100,000 fine.

Evidently Birk felt that having to remain in the poop-storm that is the Buccaneers for an extra week was a more forceful way to send the message.

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In other poop news, the A’s dugout toilet decided to disgorge its contents during Tuesday’s 2-1 win over the Angels, the second plumbing-deficient incident of the season. And . . . wait . . . is that Lew Wolff with overalls and a pipe wrench his hand? Hey, you! Get back here! What’s that you’re doing to that fire extinguisher case?

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Mother Jones, the long-standing progressive magazine, just gridded up the NFL owners, and determined through the careful analysis of its graphics department that Jed York is well into the Political Pee Wee/Keep ‘Em quadrant, while Mark Davis is Pee Wee/Cut ‘Em material. Their more trenchant analyses follow:

Oakland Raiders: Ranking the NFL's worst owners without Al Davis is like trying to celebrate Christmas without Santa Claus. Al's son, Mark Davis, has been looked to as a breath of fresh air for the franchise, though earlier this year he fired the team's PR director over an article he found unflattering. He has also threatened to move the Raiders to Los Angeles (again) as the team hunts for a new stadium. His latest proposal: Tear down the current stadium and build a new one on the exact same site.

San Francisco 49ers: Jed York, the Niners' youthful owner, is riding high on goodwill after the team’s recent resurgence. York is generally low-key (or as low-key as you can be surrounded by confetti at the groundbreaking of your billion-dollar stadium). While York supposedly sewed jerseys and wrapped ankles when he officially joined the team in 2005, he didn't exactly come from humble beginnings—he spent plenty of time in the owner's box as a kid back when his grandfather ran the team—and mom owned pro hockey's Pittsburgh Penguins.

Take your complaints up with them.

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Moving from dry reads to nicely jazzed rants, this, from Man, Economy and Sport (http://tinyurl.com/jwkruqu), which asks the musical question, “Since when did it become the government’s job to protect sports leagues?” This, in the wake of the Third Circuit Court of Appeals ruling that New Jersey cannot legalize sports betting because . . . well, because shut up, that’s why.

You can still blow your check in Nevada, of course, but that apparently doesn’t endanger the interests of the four pro leagues or the NCAA.

Key sentence from the court’s ruling: “Do not take Seattle and lay the 19½, you slack-jawed morons.”

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Twitter hackers – they’re the best. The latest incident came after Walsall beat Wolverhampton Wanderers in a League One match in England, and the official Walsall twitter account issued this cheery sendoff, via the fine folks at Who Ate All The Pies:

“@OfficialWolves Better look next time you six fingered inbred dingle bastards. YOU’VE LET US DOWN AGAIN! @VitalWalsall @BescotBanter”

Walsall apologized somewhat abjectly to their counterparts at Wolves and vowed an investigation, though no mention was made of whether the club held any official position on being Wolves being either six-fingered or inbred.

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And finally, C.J. Ross, we hardly knew ye . . . except for the two fights you judged that defied the laws of reality upon which the rest of us have all agreed, that is. Now you’ve decided to take a break from the always confusing hurly-burly of differentiating punching from getting punched, the Nevada State Athletic Commission has now vowed, and these are the words of commissioner Bill Brady to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, “There will be more questions asked, and Keith (executive director Keith Kizer) will be held accountable for his recommendations. We won't be a rubber stamp anymore.”

Well, until the next time a rubber stamp is just the thing to make sure everyone is happy.