Jim Harbaugh showed his superhuman strength by lifting an entire laden cart and placing in front of the conveyance machinery (re: horse) by telling us the story how they came not to draft Blaine Gabbert in 2011.
“Another really good player, and where he was picked in the draft was evidence of that,” Harbaugh said of Gabbert while speaking at the NFL annual meetings in Tierra Del Fuego . . . er, Uluu, Finland . . . ummm, Ulaan Baatar, Mongolia . . . okay, Orlando. But he said the 49ers never intended to take Gabbert with their own pick that year, No. 7, because of . . . wait for it . . . “Really, we personally made that promise to Alex Smith, that we weren't going draft a quarterback at No. 7.”
[RELATED: Harbaugh has high expectations for Gabbert]
One, that isn’t a promise they make if they actually saw a quarterback they liked, so the promise came after the judgment. Two, what if someone floated a credible rumor that Colin Kaepernick was going to taken sixth? What then? And three, I’m sure that promise keeps Smith warm at night knowing the esteem in which he was held.
Nice try though, Jimmy. You almost got a class of rapt third graders to buy it.
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Warren Buffett’s billion-dollar NCAA bracket challenge lasted one full day and half of a second before all the entrants crapped out, leading the octogenarian gazillionaire to rue at least some of the details of the quintillions-to-one shot that came off as you expected it would.
“I would have preferred to see it go quite a bit longer,” Buffett, who was actually insuring the Quicken Loans (owned by Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert) contest, said on Dan Patrick's radio show.
“Not all the way, but quite a bit longer.”
In short, he wants to tweak it just enough so that it doesn’t seem like quite a your-chance-of-winning-is-the-same-whether-you-play-or-not. “I'd like to modify it a little bit so people have an even better shot to win it than they had this year. Wait until next year though. I think we're going to come up with something better next year.”
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And one more billionaire on the loose – Danny Snyder of the Washington Indigenous Humans has set up a foundation for Native Americans because in his words, “I've listened. I've learned. And frankly, it’s heart-wrenching. It's not enough to celebrate the values and heritage of Native Americans. We must do more.”
His foundation is called the Original Americans Foundation. Or OAF. Honestly, there are saboteurs in his midst.
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The San Jose Sharks have now made the playoffs for the 10th consecutive year, putting pressure on them to avoid becoming the fifth NHL team in history to have a decade-long run of not reaching a Stanley Cup Final. The others are the Buffalo Sabres (1975-85), New York Rangers (1978-1987), St. Louis Blues (1980-2004) and Washington Capitals (1983-96).
[RELATED: Instant Replay: Sharks clinch playoff spot despite SO loss to Flames]
Those other teams have won one Stanley Cup in the last 74 years, so it’s a proud legacy they chase.
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And finally, Kirk Goldsberry of Grantland is the latest to fall prey to the there-shouldn’t-be-conferences-so-that-the-playoffs-will-be-fair argument. He is wrong because our national fairness fetish sucks, but that’s not why you should be irked. You should be irked because in his world, the Warriors open with Memphis, which is quite possibly the most terrible matchup for your heroes.
Goldsberry, you will report to the Hegenberger In’n’out and watch others eat to answer for your crimes.
Ray Ratto is a columnist for CSNBayArea.com