Richie Incognito’s Doug MacArthur moment, the outside-the-dentist’s-office “This will pass,” shows that he is if nothing else a pie-eyed optimist. Among all the people who have culpability in this mess (and now Omar Kelly of the Sun Sentinel in Fort Lauderdale reports that coaches told Incognito to “toughen (Martin) up” after he missed a voluntary minicamp), Incognito may be the only who sees an outcome as rosy as “This will pass.”
Most of the rest of us see this ending much, much worse. And the scary part is, ultimately, Incognito is probably righter than the rest of us. This is the NFL, after all, where the Incognito story wouldn't even medal in the Outrage Olympics this year.
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Northwestern’s new megapatriotic football uniforms with full American flag and actual alleged faux-blood spatters as though soldiers had actually bled on them, has drawn some critics, but even if it was hailed universally as a fitting tribute, it is still fighting for the silver medal with the Slovak Olympic hockey jerseys whose pinstripes are actually the lyrics to the Slovakian national anthem and hip-hop classic Na Tatrou Sa Blyska.
According to Kari Van Horn of Yahoo!, the hyperactively creative Bakersfield Condors of the East Coast (don’t ask) Hockey League have decided to go all in on the patriotism thing with this.
Daniel Day-Lewis instead of the Blackhawk head is one thing, but the Gettysburg Address on the back is an interesting touch, especially when it is pulled over a player’s head in a fight.
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The Kentucky cross country runner who dropped out of a regional meet because her bib number was 666 and violated her religious beliefs stood up for her beliefs. The race administrators say they would have given her a different number if she had explained why. She said she did.
The race is this weekend. It’s Wednesday. Can a solution really be that hard to achieve? It’s Kentucky. Who knows?
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This is why abandoning hope for our species is the percentage move: Husband wins bet with wife over Bears-Packers game, and the stakes were . . . oh, God, I don’t have the gift to explain this, from the Beaver Dam Daily Citizen.
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In other “gee, being a girl is great, kind of” news, Melissa Barbieri, the former captain of the Australian women’s soccer team, wanted to play in the country’s W-league. She wanted to play a lot. And according to Dominic Bossi of the Sydney Morning Herald, she sold some of her belongings to get up enough money to do so. She had to do this because she stopped playing for the national team to have a child.
Maybe a couple of coaches should have sent over a teammate to “toughen her up.”
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And finally, CBS later-than-late-night host Craig Ferguson explained for all Americans the news about Toronto mayor Rob Ford, who admitted after months of denials in the face of overwhelming evidence that he smoked crack in the only way that makes any sense: “Police knew the mayor was smoking crack (when) he predicted that the Leafs would win the Stanley Cup.”
Yeah, that would do it for me, too.