Carroll stops short of what he really wanted: dousing Harbaugh

Carroll stops short of what he really wanted: dousing Harbaugh
August 14, 2014, 7:45 pm
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If he sells to someone who wants the team in Los Angeles, he can buy his own helicopter, strafe the neighborhood with it, and make sure the cops never bother him.
Ray Ratto

Pete Carroll, who noted that Arizona’s Bruce Arians and St. Louis’ Jeff Fisher have already joined in on the Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS, tweeted that “the NFC West is almost all in.

So, guess who he aimed that at?

Yes. Our Jimmy.

But Carroll stopped short of doing what he really wanted to do, which was to be the guy to douse Harbaugh, and have the bucket holding a single block of ice, holding glass shards and bits of asphalt. I mean, disease awareness is one thing, but competitive advantage is entirely another.

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Now that Rob Manfred is the new commissioner of baseball, he has 20 owners who really like him, three or four who will come and go with him depending on the issue, and in the latest example in a series of how to back the wrong horse, Lew Wolff and the A’s.

His next big move: BitCoin.

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Diana Moskovitz writes in Deadspin about what the folks in San Antonio did to schmooze Mark Davis, all the way down to the crabcakes as Ruth’s Chris.

But let’s be honest –- lots of businessmen take guys out on the company dime just for their own entertainment.

The real key here is the helicopter rides, as though Davis were a 12-year-old kid (which he may be). But the fact remains that if he sells to someone who wants the team in Los Angeles, he can buy his own helicopter, strafe the neighborhood with it, and make sure the cops never bother him.

Now that can’t be topped.

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Now here is a sore, and potentially insane, loser. Aurelio Jimenez, a 74-year-old lawyer from Colombia, is suing FIFA and president Sepp Blatter for a billion euros ($1.336 billion) claiming that the controversial decisions by Spanish referee Carlos Velasco Carballo during Colombia’s quarter-final defeat to Brazil caused him to wind up in hospital with a broken heart.

“I felt very bad, I was heartbroken, my cardiac rhythm was altered and my relatives took me to the emergency room at the hospital,” Jimenez told BBC World Service. “I was surrounded by my grandchildren who were crying a lot.

“I decided to sue FIFA in the Colombian judiciary system because in the past world soccer championship in Brazil, there were many wrongdoings related to referees who damaged many countries and their selections, among them the Colombia team. Moreover, FIFA’s referees caused big moral damages and distress to Chile, Uruguay, Colombia, England, Uruguay, Mexico and Costa Rica.”

Wait. England?

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Joe Nathan, who has booed all year by Detroit Tigers fans, closed out a game Wednesday night and saluted his faux supporters with a gesture best known in Sicily right before the mob hit. Evidently, he is confident that he is not a popular figure in the Italian baseball fan community either.

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Tony Pulis resigned as Crystal Palace manager two days before the team’s first game of the upcoming English Premier League season, meaning that (a) Palace will be relegated and (b) the first to fire a coach will hire Pulis and not be relegated as a result.

And why? Because, that’s why.

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And finally, Why Marketing Majors Are The New Hell, No. 61,117: The Norfolk Tides minor league team took the new garden gnome fad and twisted the knob past 11 by not only handing out bobbleheads of some minor league player but having the players wear garden gnome jerseys.

As the French like to say, “Nobody asked for this.”