Day 1 of NFL draft was the goat-rope we hoped it would be

Day 1 of NFL draft was the goat-rope we hoped it would be
May 8, 2014, 10:15 pm
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So Day 1 was the goat-rope we hoped it would be, with more goats to come. And no, we don’t mean GOAT. We mean goat.
Ray Ratto

Day One of the NFL Draft is behind us (thank the deity of your choice), which means the very slow build toward the Michael Sam Issue is about to gather.

As he isn’t expected to go in the draft before Saturday, if at all, the only chatter will be pre-prep chatter, but it’s coming, and it will be largely irrational because that’s what draft conversation is.

In the meantime, Johnny Manziel is not a Brown, or a Bill, or especially a Cowboy, but a Brown after only two hours and 42 minutes of being the voy-ee of the day (as opposed to voyeur, of course) –- so Day 1 was the goat-rope we hoped it would be, with more goats to come.

And no, we don’t mean GOAT. We mean goat.

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In other goat-ropes, Shelly Sterling’s intention to retain the Los Angeles Clippers serves mostly to prolong the team’s agony, and convince those currently on the roster to wish they were on other rosters. And while this won’t happen for any number of reasons, it would be a delight to see Blake Griffin in Oakland, if only because the fans who hate him so would have to wear bright new yellow T-shirts that read:

“HYPOCRITE? HELL YES!”

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And with that, over to Richard Sherman, who said Sterling would thrive in his league.

“No I don't (think Sterling would be forced to sell for his previous behaviors),” Sherman said, “because we have an NFL team called the Redskins. I don't think the NFL really is as concerned as they show. The NFL is more of a bottom line league. If it doesn't affect their bottom line, they're not as concerned.”

Somehow, I think Sherman may be overpraising the NBA owners here.

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Good news if you hate tradition, family and the celebration of the birth of Jesus:

The Bahamas Bowl announced that its first game, which will feature a team from Conference USA as well as the MAC, will kick off at noon Eastern on Christmas Eve.

In other words, if you watch, you imperil your soul. In other other words, see you in hell.

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And finally, the high-tech-creepy-schadenfreudian obsession with Manziel’s evening of torture and humiliation is why next year’s draft should only have mothers in the auditorium. The first cameraman who wants to capture that moment is going to a bunch of fives right in the beezer, and THAT will be the kind of television we can all agree works.