A ghoulish Donald Sterling story from New York Post

A ghoulish Donald Sterling story from New York Post
May 1, 2014, 10:45 pm
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Very few teams in the history of sports have achieved so much while suffering with the tortures of orchitis. And yes, it’s exactly what you think it is.
Ray Ratto

I never realized how many people had ghoulish Donald Sterling stories, but the New York Post’s team of Linda Massarella, Emily Smith, Bruce Golding and Helen Kumari report that Sterling has cancer, possibly prostate cancer, and provided this opening paragraph:

“This could wind up being a pretty short ban.”

I will leave it to you to decide how close to the literary third rail that sentence is.

X X X

Now that the Los Angeles Lakers are coach-shopping, a phone book’s worth of names have been flung into the wind, with the only one not yet mentioned is Oprah Winfrey, who aims to be the first woman in NBA history to own one team and coach the other.

Then there’s Clippers coach Doc Rivers, who was asked before Game 6 in Oakland, “Now that you’ve worked for (Donald) Sterling, do you think it will be easier to work for Jim Buss?” Rivers laughed, said, “I was waiting for something. I’ll say no comment to all of those things, but that was good.”

So he didn’t deny it.

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Floyd Mayweather’s “stunt” of posting his now-ex-girlfriend’s abortion medical form and a sonogram photo on his Facebook page is revolting, but you should know this in case you were searching for a reason to root for Marcos Maidana tomorrow night.

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Washington Wizards center Marcin Gortat said the Wizards had been threatened after their Game 2 win over Chicago by one person on Twitter; “He was saying there was a bomb on the plane and stuff, that my country's going to get bombed and all my family's going to die, just stuff like that.”

Then he closed with the always ominous, 

“Some people already visited him.” No doubt bearing a gift basket from the House Of Solitary Confinement Until A Lawyer Is Found.


X X X

Chase Stuart of Football Perspective understands the true value of football, so he decided to rank 122 NFL coaches since 1978 by their records against the spread as compared to their actual win-loss records, and in doing so, we learned why the 49ers are getting a new stadium.

Bill Walsh is second overall, just behind Bill Belichick. George Seifert is 12th, and would have been higher if not for that unfortunate Carolina thing, and Jim Harbaugh is 15th, ten spots behind Tom Coughlin, one spot ahead of Pete Carroll and two ahead of his brother John, just to name the three coaches who have beaten him in the postseason.

X X X

And finally, Atletico Madrid manager Diego Simeone celebrated his team’s Champions League triumph over Chelsea by paying homage to his players’ mothers . . . a classy thought until you find out how he did it.

“I want to thank the mothers of these players we have at Atletico Madrid because they gave birth to them with bollocks this big,” he said while miming the act of holding two bowling balls. “The reaction of the team will stick in people’s memories.”

True that. Very few teams in the history of sports have achieved so much while suffering with the tortures of orchitis. And yes, it’s exactly what you think it is.