You can dance and sing and cavort all you want about the Giants’ Opening Day Tuesday, but the fact remains that there is something forlorn about the 30th Opening Day of the year – a sort of last-turkey-in-the-shop feeling that is compounded when the team is coming off a losing season. The bunting is more faded, the flyover seems more feeble, the endless string of patriotic songs drag on longer and miss more notes, while still maintaining the longest enduring tradition of all – the anthem singer mispronouncing “perilous.”
But at least the beer will cost regular season prices.
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Traditions matter, of course, which is why ESPN’s Buster Olney reported that there is a raving idiot in the highest reaches of Major League Baseball. Olney didn’t name him or even describe him as such, but he quoted him in this passage:
“I think they ought to change the games to seven innings,” he said . . . and he went on to explain that if baseball adopted this, it could represent a tonic for all the problems he sees, starting with shortening the game to 2 ½ hours rather than three.
Well, here’s a bit of news, Einstein. Red Sox-Yankee game would last four hours if they were four innings, and the new replay rules are already being worked by managers to lengthen rather than shorten games.
Plus, there are remedies to shorten game times, like getting hitters in the box quicker, making pitchers work faster, and most importantly of all, WHAT IS A MAN OF OLNEY’S STATURE DOING TALKING TO SUCH A RANTING BOOB?
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Jim Calhoun, the former Connecticut coach, went on WEEI radio in Boston and offered this testimonial to John Calipari hours before the national championship game:
“The one thing about John, John can become, you know, a bullsh---er . . . the good thing about John, that’s why I actually have a better relationship with John than I used to many years ago, John kind of knows that. At least I think he knows that. He’s actually kind of a tolerable guy to be around. He’s actually a pretty good guy to be around. I don’t do business the way he does. But he’s done a good job coaching. His way, one-and-done, most institutions are not going to allow you to do what Kentucky does. But that’s okay. That’s a lot of kids to leave early. But he can coach. He gets his teams to play. He’s done a good job certainly getting talent.”
In other words, Calhoun doesn’t like anything about him but his coaching and his self-awareness about being so spectacularly full of crap. This only figures, since Calhoun saw him at a lot of their B.S. Anonymous meetings.
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Speaking of which, Manhattan College rehired head basketball coach Steve Masiello after the coach was discovered by the people he was leaving Manhattan to coach (South Carolina) to have never graduated from college as he stated on his resume.
“I am extremely grateful and humbled by the opportunity to continue as the head men's basketball coach at Manhattan College,” Masiello said in a statement. "I made a mistake that could have cost me my job at an institution I love. Details matter.”
In other words, no they don’t.
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And finally, Wayne Rooney of Manchester United performed a feat rarely seen in any sport when he was named one of the 11 players named to The Sun’s “Team Of The Day” after Saturday’s English Premier League matches – despite not playing at all. “I consider it a great triumph for absenteeism and idleness,” Rooney did not say.