An A's-Giants territorial rights play by Ray Ratto


An A's-Giants territorial rights play by Ray Ratto

Because we want you to fully understand all the issues involved in the new As-Giants spitfest, and because you and we want you to get maximum enjoyment out of it, we have put together a little play to help explain it.

We would have gotten the principals in a room to explain their positions in a calm and rational manner, but since Charlie Johnson and John Fisher are too busy with their invisibility shields to make their cases, and we couldnt really endure Lew Wolff and Larry Baer going at each other for an hour at the same time in an enclosed room, we thought this might offer some clarity.So we begin, in a seemingly quiet suburban home, in an upstairs playroom, where two obnoxious children are arguing yet again.AS: Shut up!GS: You shut up!AS: No, you shut up! You started it!GS: No, you started it!BUD SELIG (in the role of DAD): What the hells going on in there?AS: Hes being mean to me!GS: He deserves it!BUD: Do I have to get up?AS and GS: No, Dad.BUD: Then both of you shut up! Im watching a game!AS: Stop going on my side of the room!GS: Youre on my side of the room!AS: No Im not. You cant have the whole room!GS: Yes I can. Im bigger than you. You can have the garage. Or the treehouse. Or the middle of the freeway. This is mine!AS: Bite me. Im taking my share!GS: Not if I kick your butt you wont!AS: Ill kick your butt! In fact, Ill wait until youre sleeping and brain you with the lamp!GS: Oh yeah?AS: Yeah!GS: Look, you gave me your side of the room a long time ago, and I made plans to clean up my side of the room based on that.AS: That was two brothers ago, dumb ass. I dont care what your deal was with them, Im here now and I want my share back.GS: Well, youre not getting it.AS: Bite me again, yes I am. You only want my side of the room so that I cant live here any more.GS: Well, duh. If I could convince Mom and Dad to stop feeding you so you would die and I could bury you in the backyard, I would.AS: You dont even want my side of the room.GS: No I dont, but I dont want you to have it. I dont want you to have the same fun Im having. Besides, you dont want to have friends. You chase everyone you know away because youre such a slob.AS: Im NOT a slob.GS: Shut up. You let your playroom turn into an eyesore because you think you can just fix up this room now. You break your toys, or you give them to other kids in exchange for some crappy toy you get rid of the next day. Nobody wants to play with you.AS: And all your friends are snotty braggards who dress up like animals and wear fake beards like thats supposed to be cool. Your friends are lame.GS: Yeah, well, they have money that they give me because Ive convinced them Im their friend. So you can bite ME. Besides, I was here first.AS: And you did a crappier job with your side of the room until Mom and Dad painted your half and put in new carpeting.GS: Well, thats because I know how to suck up to them.As: Look, why is this such a big deal to you? Why cant you just share?GS: Because I hate your guts and I want you out. Ive always hated your guts. Ive only hated you a little less lately because it seemed like you didnt give a damn and just wanted to stay out of my way. Now youre pissing me off again.AS: Yeah, and I hate your guts. You got your part of the room fixed up and now you act like youre the king of the world. Well, now I want my side fixed up so that youll shut up for awhile.GS: And if you fix it up, then youll stay, and I dont want you here.AS: Theres nowhere else to go!GS: Well, you could wander into the woods and be killed by a bear. Im fine with that.AS: You couldnt kill me. Youre a big candy, and you always have been. Ill fix up my room, and Ill start screwing with you every day like I used to.GS: Thats my room, and youre not touching it.AS: Shut up!GS: You shut up!AS: Daaaaddd!!GS: Daaaaddd!!BUD SELIG: DAMN IT, WHAT DID I TELL YOU TWO NOT FIVE MINUTES AGO? I SAID SHUT UP, RIGHT? WE WILL DEAL WITH YOU TWO BABIES WHEN WERE DAMNED GOOD AND READY! NOW YOU SIT ON YOUR SIDE, YOU SIT ON YOUR SIDE, AND I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER PEEP OUT OF EITHER OF YOU!AS: HES BEEN DOING THIS SINCE I GOT HERE!GS: I GET TO DO IT! IM BETTER THAN YOU!AS: NO YOURE NOT! YOU SUCK!GS: YOU SUCK!BUD: IM TAKING OFF MY BELT, AND THE NEXT PERSON WHO EMITS A NOISE IS GOING TO FEEL IT!AS: I WANT TO TALK TO MOM!GS: YEAH! WE WANT MOM!BUD: MOM IS OFF FIXING THE DODGERS AND THE METS RIGHT NOW, AND WE LIKE THEM BETTER BECAUSE EACH OF THEM ARE WORTH MORE BY THEMSELVES THAN YOU ARE TOGETHER!AS: BUT THEYRE AWFUL!GS: AND THEYRE THIEVES!AS AND G'S: AND THEYRE ALWAYS IN COURT!BUD: AND THEY PAY MORE RENT THAN YOU, SO THEY MATTER AND YOU DONT! YOUR MOTHER WILL BE HOME WHEN SHES HOME, AND THEN WELL FIX THIS, YOU WHINY LITTLE CREEPS! UNTIL THEN, EITHER KEEP IT DOWN, OR ILL TAKE THE BELT TO BOTH OF YOU! GOT IT?AS AND GS: Yes Dad.BUD: God, I hate children sometimes.AS: Pssstt. I hate Dad.GS: Pssstt. I hate Dad, and I hate you too.AS: You starting up again?GS: Yeah. Wanna make something of it?Ray Ratto is a columnist for

Mayor Schaaf on Raiders relocation: 'Oakland has something no other city ever will'

Mayor Schaaf on Raiders relocation: 'Oakland has something no other city ever will'

The Oakland Raiders have officially filed for relocation to Las Vegas. And Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf has responded. 

“It’s no surprise that the Raiders have filed for relocation," Schaaf said in a statement. "Oakland welcomes the chance to show them and the NFL’s other owners why Oakland is the only home for the Raiders and always will be.

“Our winning team of the Lott Group, the County and my colleagues on the Oakland City Council has accomplished so much in the last few months. We’ve identified the mechanisms to responsibly finance public infrastructure improvements, we have in the Lott Group a private partner prepared to finance stadium construction, and we have an entitled site for a world-class NFL stadium and new development that enhances fan experience while invigorating East Oakland's economy. 

“But this isn’t all Oakland has to offer. Oakland’s Raiders stadium will be on the most transit-accessible site in the nation, in the sixth largest television market, and in one of the wealthiest and most innovative regions in the world. But above all else, Oakland has something no other city ever will -- a die-hard fan base that is loyal and true to the Raiders and wants to see them stay here in Oakland where they were founded. Only Oakland brings the Raiders and the NFL a competitive stadium proposal, along with legacy and loyalty.

“I look forward to the League giving our team a chance to compete.”

Now that the fate of the Raiders' relocation is in the hands of the NFL owners, a vote could come at the NFL owners meetings in late March. It’s uncertain whether Davis has the votes needed to relocate, but there has been momentum building for such a move over the past several months.

Davis has said that, even if the Raiders are approved for relocation, he plans on playing in Oakland the next few years while a Las Vegas stadium is built. The team has already sent out season ticket pricing to fans for the 2017 season. The Raiders have one-year team options to play Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum in the 2017 and 2018 seasons.

The Las Vegas stadium isn’t expected to be ready until the 2020 season.

The Office of the Mayor Libby Schaaf and Scott Bair contributed to this report.


Steph Curry, Kevin Durant named starters in 2017 All-Star Game

Steph Curry, Kevin Durant named starters in 2017 All-Star Game

Warriors guard Stephen Curry has been voted to start the NBA All-Star Game for the fourth consecutive season, and this time there was a measure of suspense.

Curry will join Rockets guard James Harden in the backcourt for the Western Conference squad, as voters snubbed MVP candidate and triple-double specialist Russell Westbrook of Oklahoma City.

Joining Curry and Harden in the starting lineup for the West will be Warriors forward Kevin Durant, Spurs forward Kawhi Leonard and Pelicans forward/center Anthony Davis.

A combination of fan balloting (50 percent), player balloting (25 percent) and media balloting (25 percent) comprises the overall vote.

Curry’s selection is sure to generate considerable debate, as Westbrook leads the league in scoring (30.6 points per game), is second in assists and 11th (10.4) in rebounding (10.6). Westbrook also leads the league in PER at 29.56.

Moreover, he is bidding to become the first player since Oscar Robertson in 1961-62 to average a triple-double over the course of a full season.

Coming off back-to-back MVP seasons, Curry ranks 12th in scoring (24.6 points per game), 15th in assists (6.1), second in 3-pointers made (158) and eighth in steals (1.81). His 92.6-percent shooting from the line ranks second in the NBA.

He is the first Warrior since Wilt Chamberlain to start four straight All-Star games.

Durant, in his first season with the Warriors, leads the team in scoring (26.2) and blocks (1.71) and double-doubles (16). He’s second in rebounding (8.6) and third in assists (4.7). His 54.4-percent shooting from the field is 10th in the league and tops among perimeter players.

Durant will be making his eighth appearance, and his fifth as a starter.

The Eastern Conference starters are as follows: guards Kyrie Irving of the Cavaliers and DeMar DeRozan of the Raptors, with frontcourt players LeBron James of the Cavs, Giannis Antetokounmpo of the Bucks and Jimmy Butler of the Bulls.

All-Star reserves, which are chosen by NBA coaches, will be announced on Jan. 26.