Harbaugh on Matthews: 'Come with some knuckles'
Jim Harbaugh broke a knuckle in a fight with NFL Hall of Famer Jim Kelly after Kelly questioned his toughness back in 1997. (USA TODAY IMAGES)
Not that we would ever avoid mocking Jim Harbaugh for his day-after pressers (because what else is living for?), but he is being wrongly cranked for his Clay Matthews soliloquy from Monday.
He won’t be fined for any of the things he said about the Packer linebacker’s extra-jocular hit on Colin Kaepernick, and probably won’t even get a phone call after the NFL admitted that referee Bill Leavy’s crew gagged twice on the same play. Harbaugh got a free one Monday when the league said the 49ers got hosed twice on the same play, and went with it.
[RELATED: NFL Staley should not have been penalized]
But he may get fined for encouraging Matthews to man up and “come with some knuckles” at facemasked foes. That’s what guys who want to break their hands do, because they’re going to end up hitting helmets, which beat knuckles every time – which Harbaugh should know, since he broke a knuckle in a fight with Jim Kelly after Kelly questioned his toughness in his role as a TV analyst.
God, he’s just perfect.
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And Harbaugh played the Human Time Machine again Monday, proving yet again that he stopped paying attention to American culture at about age 15. This time, he brought back the clotheslining talents of Hall of Famer Emlen Tunnell (Giants and Packers), who last played in 1961, was inducted in 1967 and died in 1975. Throw that on with Judge Judy, jive turkeys and several other well-aged references, makes our boy THTM.
[RELATED: Harbaugh: 'We're not going to just get pushed all around']
We’re afraid to ask, but we suspect he thinks Queen Elizabeth is hot.
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While we’re whingeing on about coaches and media, UCLA’s Jim Mora had that rarest of things Monday – a justifiable snap at a press conference – when he was interrupted by a ringing phone while talking about Nick Pasquale, the Bruin walk-on receiver who was hit and killed by a car Sunday morning. The phone, which apparently belonged to a cameraman who doesn’t know press conference etiquette, irritated Mora to the point where he stormed off the podium, though he later met with beat writers to discuss Pasquale and the rest of team business, an acknowledgement that he knew the writers were in the clear this time.
Point is, there are sometimes when a snap is justified, and even to be applauded as a genuinely human reaction.
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Hoaxing SEC World by suggesting that Nick Saban, the High Galactic Lord of Alabama, was going to visit Texas about taking Mack Brown’s job is, frankly, beneath the instigator(s) of the story. SEC World will bite on anything because SEC World bites on everything. It always has, and always will. All this is, is taking advantage of someone else’s devotion – kind of like sneaking up on a deeply committed Catholic and whispering that Pope Francis is being indicted on charges of mail fraud and soccer-match fixing.
In other words, all these things could still happen, but it’s just cruel to poke the cage of a chemically-enraged animal.
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Gene Simmons of KISS, who knows promotion the way flesh-eating bacteria know flesh, is making a pitch to have Tim Tebow join the Arena Football League team in which he is an investor – yes, the Los Angeles Kiss.
Now there’s a territorial draft pick I’d like to have explained.
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Sepp Blatter’s admission to Paul Nicholson of insideworldfootball.com that FIFA, which he heads, might have made a mistake by giving the 2022 World Cup to Qatar and its 270-degree summer temperatures is a fascinating one, in that he comes off as a great internationalist, to wit:
“It may well be that we made a mistake at the time. On the other hand, you must also consider political and geo-political realities. The World Cup is FIFA's biggest if not only global event. Who are we, the Europeans, to demand that this event has to cater to the needs of 800 million Europeans above all, when there are over seven billion people who populate this planet and of whom 6.2 billion are not European, but who must at all times succumb to our diktat?”
Plus, the bribes that soil nearly every World Cup bid have already been “reinvested,” right?
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In an unrelated development, former Brazilian great Ronaldo Instagrammed this photo of himself and English comedic actor Rowan Atkinson (the perfection that is Blackadder, Mr. Bean, Johnny English, Not the Nine O’Clock News).
There is no other reason to share this except for the look on Atkinson’s face, which is the same one he wore when first encouraged to eat a live squid with Gordon Ramsey.
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NASCAR Race-Fixing Fun, Part Deux: Ryan Newman, who was aced out of the Chase by some skullduggery by the boys at Michael Watrip Racing, has been reinstalled in the event. MWR driver Martin Truex is out, and the team has been fined $300,000. Somewhere in Hell, Arnold Rothstein weeps.
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And finally, the New York Giants were so thrilled with David Wilson’s fumbles Sunday that they are bringing in Brandon Jacobs for a look.
Yeah. That Brandon Jacobs.