Incognito locks up WWE social media director’s job

Incognito locks up WWE social media director’s job
February 12, 2014, 10:15 pm
Is there a way to convince Derek Jeter to quietly vow to himself not to play that final Yankee series of the season in Boston at the end of September, just to make the Sox and ticket brokers hate his guts?
Ray Ratto

Richie Incognito may not play football again (although bullying is so far down the list of things that could get you kicked out of the NFL that it ranks only a rung below “garlic breath” and a rung above “not putting the seat up”), but if nothing else, he has SO locked up that WWE social media director’s job. His first job – getting CM Punk to return to the company and change his stage name to CM Flower Delivery Guy.

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As for Jonathan Martin, it looks more and more like he may be quietly muted out of the league, because based on how middle aged men in the NFL team structure enjoy even a suggestion of non-uber-masculinity, whatever it is he allegedly did, it probably ranks right below “burning down an orphanage” and “burning down an orphanage after bricking up the doorways and windows.”

[RELATED: Incognito lashes out at Martin on Twitter]

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The Denver Broncos named John Elway the team’s general manager, which one can only assume that he is going to do exactly the things he was doing before, only for a little more money – although in truth, they could probably call him prince regent with no change in his duties as well.

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Is there a way to convince Derek Jeter to quietly vow to himself not to play that final Yankee series of the season in Boston at the end of September, just to make the Sox and ticket brokers hate his guts?

[RELATED: Jeter will retire at end of 2014 season]

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Speaking of which, this, from The Onion:

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49er fans will take umbrage at this (yeah, like that’s an upset), but the Nielsen people rated the top five of the 32 fan bases, and they weren’t on the list. Green Bay, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Kansas City were.

But if it’s any consolation, neither the Raiders, Giants, A’s, Warriors, Sharks, Earthquakes, Bulls (RIP), Cal, Stanford nor any auto races and tennis or golf events in the area made any of their respective lists either. Hurray! We’re the Vatican!

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The A’s have dropped their organist for the 2014 season for no specific reason we know of, but they ought to hire Garth Hudson (organist for The Band, and a stone genius) for a year – just to do it right.

Of course, they’re more likely to just hire two old guys with wax paper and combs and pass it off as old-timey kitsch. But then, that’s what the old organist was for.

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Jonah Keri’s annual list of the worst contracts in baseball finally contains no Giants, and still contains no A’s. If that doesn’t make your spring training prep better, then you’re kind of a weenie.

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And finally, Bill Russell turned 80 Wednesday, which reminds us that he hosted Saturday Night Live in 1979 – 35 years ago, and 10 years after his retirement from playing. It probably isn’t the first thing he remembers because the host the week before, Monty Python’s Eric Idle, had Bob Dylan as the musical guest, and the host the week after, Buck Henry, had Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers.

Russell had Chicago, which is so wrong in so many ways.