If you are considering Brazil as a vacation destination, you may want to give the next Summer Olympics a tumble. Service is likely to be a little spotty for the next few . . . uhh, months, maybe? Just remember not to mention anything about . . . well, you know.
Besides, the players, the coaches, the federation, the politicians and the businessmen will still be apologizing until the Olympics start. And only the last three should go to jail.
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Larry Reid, as a member of the Oakland City Council, is a lunatic. Now we don’t know if all the members of the city council are lunatics, because we haven’t heard from them all, but he said that the A’s have options if they wanted to leave the city, Montreal and San Antonio.
Montreal’s stadium is crumbling, and San Antonio has a football stadium. Oakland has both of those things. Dear God, Larry, stop speaking before you weaken the nation further.
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Speaking of Oaktown, Billy Beane just whipped off an op-ed piece for the Wall Street Journal, a media organ he regards as slightly left of center, and proceeded to explain how new technologies are taking over baseball. Well said, even though that revolution already happened a while ago and no major league team lacks a developed sabermetric and technological base.
No, the one market inefficiency that can’t be factored in yet is the brains of the people at the big desks. You can give a goat a hammer, a smartphone or the wisdom of the ages, but if the goat is like any good goat, he will still think like a goat.
In other words, it ain’t the tool, it’s the tool using the tool. As it has always been.
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The brainless hysteria over Johnny Manziel rages on because we are a nation with an attention span a hummingbird would conclude is evidence of brain damage. This time, it’s from Giants co-owner Steve Tisch, who told TMZ (the NFL owners’ viewing and reading material of choice):
“I would be concerned,” Tisch said, “but I think if you sort of look at the culture and the history of the Giants, he really doesn’t fit the profile of, historically, of New York Giants football players. We have a fantastic quarterback who I hope has another amazing season. I wish Manziel all the best.”
Two words, Steve-O: Lawrence, and Taylor. Two more: Dave, and Meggett. Two more still: Jeremiah, and Parker.
So Steve, how about you belt up? Any player you would pay to work for you is part of the historical profile of the New York Giant football player.
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Pope Francis I likes soccer, a lot. Big, BIG Argentina fan. So it saddens us to report that he has no jurisdiction over the eternal soul (or tangible pancreas) of Orthodox priest Alexander Shumsky, who explained why, in the Christian web site Russian People’s Line, the Russian national team deserved to be run out of the World Cup like common pygmies. From The Guardian:
“He claimed (in the column) that by wearing boots that were, among other colors, green, yellow, pink and blue, the Russia players were promoting the “gay rainbow” during their shorter-than-expected stay in Brazil.
“Wearing pink or blue shoes, [the squad] might as well wear women’s knickers or a bra. The liberal ideology of globalism clearly wants to oppose Christianity with football. I’m sure of it. Therefore I am glad that the Russian players have failed and, by the grace of God, no longer participate in this homosexual abomination.”
Well, you can’t be excommunicated from something you don’t belong to, so there’s that. But if anything would turn Frankie The First into a hooligan, that might be it.
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And finally, the Tim Howard fetish probably has run its course, but that doesn’t mean it won’t go on and on like cats pictures. I mean, even Howard is sick of them but is otherwise powerless to stop them . . . which would be turned into an Internet joke, just not by me.
From his Twitter feed:
“Not going to lie, some of these are pretty funny.... But you guys got wayyy to much time on your hands, LOL #ThingsTimHowardCouldSave.
Uhh, no national hero should ever use “LOL,” even if he is referring to someone named LOL.