The most disturbing news to come from the weekend was the South Carolina football team having to report a series of blatant refusals to follow easy-to-understand rules set out by the National Cash and Assets Association.
The most heinous of these was from last winter, when cookie cakes given to recruits contained impermissible iced decorations on a cookie cakes given to prospects. Another occurred when the team laid out trophies and jerseys on a table inside the locker room, which is against NCAA rules since trophies aren't generally in locker rooms.
But the icing one is the worst because of the widening ready-to-spread gap between the major conference schools and their less-moneyed brethren. As president Mark Emmert said, “Let the grisly little freeloaders eat Nilla Wafers, and cut me a slice of that tri-tip while you’re at it.”
Frankly, I think the NCAA just does this to see when we’ll stop believing that they’re capable of stupidities like this. Well, keep digging you mall cops. You haven’t hit the earth’s core yet.
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Philadelphia Eagles cornerback Cary Williams got himself in a bit of a tongue jam Friday by questioning why the organization was holding joint practices with the New England Patriots, calling them “cheaters.”
Saturday was a day off, but Sunday after a day off, the Eagles were back at practice light one Williams. From collegial colleague Geoff Mosher of CSNPhilly.com, Williams blamed minor soreness, and not lingual soreness or a pained wallet. “Today, (head coach Chip Kelly) just gave me a day off. It’s not a big deal.
“Had nothing to do with that,” Williams said when asked about the remarks about the scoffla . . . er, Pats. “I haven’t even discussed anything with Chip. I don’t think he’s trying any type of . . . I’m sure maybe we’ll have a conversation, but I don’t know.”
And Kelly? “I appreciate his input.” Just not on Sundays.
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Rodger Sherman of SBNation was stunned, apparently, to learn that the Tampa Bay Rays use Baseball Bugs, the greatest cinematic triumph in history, during delays like their power outage Sunday.
“Yes, the baseball episode of Looney Tunes, Baseball Bugs, wherein the Gashouse Gorillas demolish the Tea Totallers before Bugs steps in. Hopefully, you watched this a trillion times as a kid; if not, we hope you were at the Trop today,” he wrote.
Well, two things. One, Baseball Bugs has been a staple in many ballparks over the years, which seems fair since it was made in 1946. And two, why the hell isn’t it a rule that it be played at all parks all the time? Make this happen, Bud, and your legacy will spirit you happily to Cooperstown. Do not make this happen, and it’s your ass.
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In creepier news, the Colorado Springs Gazette unearthed enough contemptible behavior at Air Force’s athletic department that the academy’s superintendent, Michelle Johnson, has called for an Inspector General Investigation into the department.
Among the charges from the Gazette reporty: date rape, drug use (including date rape intoxicants like roofies) by cadets, including “a core group of top football players,” synthetic marijuana use and alleged academic malfeasances to help athletes.
The Air Force, which has endured recent scandals regarding the service’s handling of sexual assault cases both within the academy and outside it, is unlikely to be very lenient.
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Nor should the journalism cops in Spain, where the demonstrably pro-Real Madrid paper MARCA may have doctored photos of the record 109,318 at Michigan Stadium for their match with Manchester United (from Who Ate All The Pies) by whitening the crowd from a distance to make it look like more Madrid fans were in attendance.
When reached for comment, the University of Michigan blamed Ohio State and Jim Harbaugh, and demanded sanctions against both.