Only one thing can fix Bowman's knee

Only one thing can fix Bowman's knee
April 2, 2014, 9:45 pm
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Read the damned thing anyway. If you are a thinking person, you will be thinking about this one awhile. And yes, we accept the fact that that is a big 'if'
Ray Ratto on Richard Sherman's MMQB article

49er NaVorro Bowman tried to look at the up-side when he said the new Bowman rule that allows reviews for his fumble recovery against Seattle “doesn’t fix my knee.” It just sounded harsher than it was.

Nevertheless, the truth here is that the one thing that does fix Bowman’s knee is Bowman not playing football anymore, and since that’s not an option, the rest of the story becomes moot.

[RELATED: Bowman making progress in rehab from knee injury]

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We applaud the first replay gaffe of the new baseball season. May there be many many more, and far more egregious than Tuesday’s bollixing in Arizona.

Sincerely, your friends at Luddite.com.

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Richard Sherman (oh, stop cringing, you big babies) delivered another intriguing column at The MMQB about the over-reaction and double standard applied to the DeSean Jackson “gang affiliations” story, and it got the usual defenses and savagings from the usual corners. Read the damned thing anyway. If you are a thinking person, you will be thinking about this one awhile.

And yes, we accept the fact that that is a big “if.”

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DeSean Jackson was asked if he was going to forgo the number 10 on his uniform in Washington since Robert Griffin La Troisieme wears it now, and he didn’t decline the notion.

“I definitely am familiar on the No. 10 [worn by] Robert Griffin,” Jackson said on a conference call with reporters, including Tarik El-Bashir of CSN Washington.  “We’ve talked about it a little bit.  But that isn’t a decision that’s been made yet so far . . . Maybe by the time the season starts we’ll know. Maybe RG III will wear No. 3  and I’ll try to get in (number) 10.  We’ll see how it goes, though. You never know.”

Please God, we beseech you, let this turn into a total crapstorm as quickly as possible.

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Coronary Ward Update: The Arizona Diamondbacks have already run out of their 18-inch bacon-cheese-and jalapeno-stuffed corn dogs after selling 400 in two nights. Club president Derrick Hall, who really should have more to do, said, “We can't make them fast enough. We have 100 ready for tonight and we'll have 100 ready for tomorrow. And then when the team goes on the road, we'll get to work to make more.”

In addition to the death-in-bread D-Bat, the Texas Rangers unveiled the “Choomongous,” two feet of Asian-spiced beef on a bun for $26, and the Chicago White Sox announced plans to sell a 3-pound, 12-scoop sundae in a full-size batting helmet for $17.

In case you were wondering, Dante reserved the third circle of Hell for gluttony, and that includes those who eat and those who charge the eaters.

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The printer in the visitors clubhouse at US Cellular Field wasn’t working Wednesday, so the Minnesota Twins had to resort to writing their starting lineup on a napkin. And not even a good old-fashioned American cocktail napkin either, which would have been defensible, but a regular old rectangular food napkin, like the kind prudes wrap around hot dogs. Our society does not care about standards any more, and deserves whatever meteor shower it gets.

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This one never gets old. Daniel Murphy of the Mets missed Opening Day and perhaps a game or two after on paternity leave because of the birth of his first child, and Boomer Esiason (yeah, that one) said on CBS Radio that Murphy’s wife should have had a C-section ahead of time so that he could play. This is reminiscent of the famous old Chronicle column criticizing Joe Montana for coupling with his wife in such a way that one of his children was born during the regular season.

In other words, stupid is a cicada. It isn’t there every day, but it never truly vanishes.

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It is completely acceptable to be disgusted with the news that David Ortiz’ selfie with President Obama was just a promotion for Samsung. Words come to mind, but the brutes in HR say we can’t use them.

This, though, can be said: A selfie is an admission and proof that its user and subject are both total gits.

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And finally, the first gift of the Derek Jeter Retirement Swagathon was provided by the Houston Astros, who gave him a set of golf clubs and a pair of cowboy boots.

Jeter has a golf classic for charity, so that’s a check on the first. There is no indication he would be caught dead wearing cowboy boots, though, so if you see a set being sold on DerekJeter.com, it’s probably a re-gift – which is what regular folks would call a dump job.