Ratto: 10 of '10

Ratto: 10 of '10
December 23, 2010, 1:26 am
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Dec. 22, 2010RATTO ARCHIVEGIANTS PAGE GIANTS VIDEO
A'S PAGE A'SVIDEOSHARKS PAGE SHARKS VIDEO
WARRIORS PAGE WARRIORSVIDEO
KINGS PAGE KINGSVIDEO
49ERS PAGE 49ERS VIDEO
RAIDERS PAGE RAIDERSVIDEO
Ray RattoCSNBayArea.com

So its another cruddy year for Bay Area sports except for the stuff that went well. Really, really, improbably, really well. Except of course for the obnoxious new fetish in town, referring to players by as many initials as you can cram into their names (DMF, DHB, JMR, blah blah blah).To wit:1. The Giants.Yeah, big surprise there. Win a World Series once every 52 years and people get all drooly and giggly. But this is the part youll see nowhere else heres to Dustin Eli Whiteside, the backup catcher who went 2-for-4 with a double in a 9-7 win over Arizona August 29, got one more start and five more plate appearances the rest of the year and not only never complained but got a playoff share that is nearly 80 percent of his annual salary. That may not mean much to you folks dazzled by the big names, but thats a nice hunk of change for DEW.2. The Stanford Womens Basketball Team.Not the pick most of you would make, but TVD (Tara Van Derveer) took the Cardinal to yet another title game, and it really isnt her fault that the Connecticut womens team is actually the Kansas mens team.3. The Stanford Mens Football TeamAAL (Andrew Austen Luck) helped make himself, his school and his coach very very rich en route to hanging the best record in school history in the trophy room.4. The Perfect Game For The Perfect ReasonDLB (Dallas Lee Braden, not Darrius Leyward-Bey) made a Mothers Day hell have an even harder time forgetting than usual, only two weeks after getting crossways with the New York tabloid culture for getting jiggy with Alex Rodriguez inner calm. Braden became then highlight in an As year that could used a few more, but he is now part of a pitching nucleus that could make Oakland a place to enjoy baseball again soon.5. COACH MIKEY ON THE HOT SQUATThe 49ers took all your hopes and fantasies and expectations and blew their noses on them again, putting both ADS (Alex D. Smith) and SMS (Samurai Mike Singletary sorry, no known middle name) on the endangered list and JEY (John Edward Jed York) back in the same tenuous public place as his father, the redoubtable JCY (John C. York) and his lovely wife MDDB (Marie Denise DeBartolo), have known.(See how obnoxious the initials are)6. The Warriors In Megaflux 3-DThe GSW (oh, come on, this ones easy) finally got a new owner (JSL, Joseph S. Lacob, from CJC, Christopher J. Cohan), although not the new owner (LJE, Larry Ellison) everyone thought theyd get. They also replaced the record-breaking DAN (Donald Arvin Nelson) with a new coach, JKS (Jonathan Keith Smart) and a new FOTF (Face Of The Franchise) in WSC (Wardell Stephen Curry). No improvement seen yet, but give it a decade or so.7. Closer, But Still The Butt Of The CigarThe SJS (Sharks) got within a round of the SCF (Stanley Cup Finals) before losing to the CBH (Chicago Black Hawks, like they used to be known), which still doesnt get the boys over the jump but gets them as close to the hump as theyve ever been.8. Dont Worry, Were Nearly At The EndSMC (Yep, St. Marys College) finally made a name for itself beyond the place Rick Majerus wanted to retire, through the auspices of OSS (Omar Something-or-other Samhan) and the usual army of Australians, getting to the round of 16 for the first time in school history. Samhan went on to seek his fortune in Lithuania with BCZ (Basketball Club Zalgiris honest).9. Hello, We Must Be GoingFCGP (FC Gold Pride) won the WPS (Womens Professional Soccer)title, and then did what teams that win soccer championships in the Bay Area do. They disappeared, folding for lack of investors. Still, a title is a title, and even if it didnt matter to you, it mattered to them.10. JLR in the HOF, And Thats Enough Of ThatRice went to Canton, as though there was any doubt at all.

And for you negative types, these 10 also found the radar, flying low and mean.1. Tiger Woods not a local story, but the former Stanforder is a citizen of the world, one Perkins at a time.
2. JaMarcus Russell, blowing up his career.
3. Cal shaving sports to keep the debt from swamping the athletic department.
4. The 49ers making a playoff run seem like a case of ricketts.
5. The Machine, a contrivance which is now just sort of stupid.
6. The Stadiums That Never Will Be: San Jose and Santa Clara look less likely with every passing day, a reminder that when the state says Were broke, the state means Were broke.
7. Ellison at the altar, a jilted buyer who probably wont stand still for being made a dupe by Cohan. Make of that what you will.
8. Jerry Rice the golfer. No embellishment needed.
9. The gator that went after the kayak in The Cove. Does it make me a bad person if I say I was rooting for a little red in the water?
10. Comcast hiring me. They really have no idea what theyve done to the brand.What'syour take? EmailRayand let him know. He may use it in his Mailbag.