Roger Goodell will be blamed for government shutdown

Roger Goodell will be blamed for government shutdown
October 1, 2013, 3:00 pm
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If Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs believe Roger Goodell caused the Super Bowl blackout, it must be true. (AP)


David Shaw wisely  wants nothing to do with the USC job. (USA TODAY IMAGES)

Raven Terrell Suggs said Roger Goodell was the masterwrench behind the Super Bowl blackout, telling ESPN, “I was like Vegas, parlor tricks, you know what I mean? I was like, ahh, Roger Goodell, he never stops, he always has something up his sleeve. He just couldn’t let us have this one in a landslide huh? . . . I thought he had a hand in it. Most definitely, he had a hand in it.”

To which we respond: Okay. Sounds good to me.

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Next, Greg Schiano says he was not the source of the Josh Freeman drug leak, to which we respond: Sure. Can’t be more believable than that.

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And finally, in the world of the gullible, former Sunderland boss Paolo DiCanio denied there were any issues between him and his team before he was fired last week. That, despite this from the Daily Mirror, in which he allegedly spat in his own face to tell his players what they were doing to him:

He is said to have taken swigs of water, spraying it into the air, letting it fall on his face, rubbing it in and then yelling at his players, “That is what you have done to me, spat in my face,” before telling them all to do it to themselves. He also allegedly told the team he hoped someone threw human feces in their faces, and then said they could phone owner Ellis Short to complain about him if they didn’t like his methods. Several did, so Short did – fire DiCanio, I mean.

Me, I believe all the stories. I am in a particularly trusting mood today.

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In the realm of Twittrage, Tennessee’s Chris Johnson sent some love to angry commenters after his 21-carry, 15-yard performance Sunday.

“Public service announcement: I can care less about fantasy football,” he typed. “Key word fantasy. As long as we win I’m happy. I rush for 200 n lose y’all happy. U r the head coach n the owner of ur fantasy team so u should be mad at urself I didn’t ask any of u to draft me so if I’m so sorry y start me.”

And once again, athletes learn that reaching out the public is never a good idea, because when you reach out to the public, they typically want to reach back . . . and that’s an idea whose time should never come.

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Stanford’s David Shaw, when told he's on USC's “short list” to replace The Kiffin, said Tuesday, “It might be short, but it's one person too long.” Never thought he felt so strongly about Jack Del Rio.

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And finally, this from Human Resources: If you think referencing the Coliseum’s occasional sewage-paloozas makes for clever pre-series analysis on Tigers-A’s, Security will be by shortly to watch you clear out your desk.

In other words, at least wait until it floods the umpires’ room.