South Africa looking at easy decision on Pistorius

South Africa looking at easy decision on Pistorius
August 20, 2013, 9:15 pm
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It appears there are plenty of people willing to go under oath to testify against 'The Blade Runner.' (AP)

Not being an expert in South African penal law, I should probably act less like Joe Tacopina and more like not Joe Tacopina, but this sentence from Yahoo’s Martin Rogers about the Oscar Pistorius murder investigation makes me lean toward a conviction: “South African police believe they have a watertight murder case against the athlete and have named 107 potential witnesses to give evidence against him.”

If they had juries in South Africa and I wasn't smart enough to get off of this one, I’d probably be swayed around Witness 61.

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On a deathly still news day, uniforms manage their way into the discussion, and so it was with the San Jose Sharks’ new simplified gear – no more shoulder caps, no stripes across the waist, all pretty spare and all rationalized by the team because “it makes the sweater lighter.”

[KURZ: Sharks emphasize performance in jersey redesign] 

Oh. Therefore they have enhanced their chances at a Stanley Cup, despite the fact that only one team – the 2008 Pittsburgh Penguins – have won a Stanley Cup without one or the other. Fortunately, the Sharks are flush with cash so the idea of making people buy slightly tweaked uniforms at $275 a copy never entered into any of the staff meetings.

And look! There’s a unicorn playing whist with a pixie, a hobbit and Hello Kitty!

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And this just in: The Lakers are going to wear short sleeves several times in the upcoming season as part of adidas’ ongoing “Let’s Make The NBA Look Like A Rec League campaign.” NOW how do you feel about the Warriors doing the same ridiculous thing a year ago?

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Yasiel Puig was held out of the Dodgers’ starting lineup for showing up late to Marlins Park Tuesday night. Hey, funny things happen when you’re young, precocious, hear about a bomb threat outside the stadium and drive by the place, see nobody in the parking lot and assume the game’s been canceled.

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Speaking of Miami, Marlins owner Jeff Loria is apparently voting his stock again, according to the Miami Herald’s Chris Spencer. Despite the fact that minor leaguer Chris Valaika is the franchise’s hottest hitter, Loria prevented his promotion because of his role in getting hitting coach Tino Martinez fired last month.

Fired that is, with Loria’s knowledge and, presumably, permission. So perfect. So very very perfect.

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And finally, welcome back Barry Zito. You may never win the Rolaids Fireman of the Year award, but at least you made people obsess about your contract for two presidential administrations.