Steinbrenner boys are basically their father all over again

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Steinbrenner boys are basically their father all over again
December 3, 2013, 10:45 pm
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Hal and Hank Steinbrenner have spent 43 percent of all the free agent money expended this offseason. (AP)

Let’s talk New York, mostly for purposes of laughing at the natives – because life at the bottom of the barrel is supposed to suck.

First, the up side. The Yankees just hurled $153 million for seven years of Jacoby Ellsbury, after kicking in another $85 million for catcher Brian McCann. In short, while they are still in on Robinson Cano and are seeking another starting pitcher, they have spent 43 percent of all the free agent money expended this offseason.

That’s $152 million more than they could save if they can get Alex Rodriguez’ contract completely voided, so the Steinbrenner boys are basically their father all over again. They just did a deal that only served to deprive the Red Sox of a player they really liked.

Which is okay by me, I guess. You know the saying around here – let a thousand flowers die.

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As for Ellsbury, here’s who he makes more money than on an average yearly basis, more or less:

LeBron James
Peyton Manning
Tom Brady
Sidney Crosby
Lionel Messi

Every active baseball player except Justin Verlander, Ryan Howard, Josh Hamilton, Felix Hernandez, Zach Greinke, CC Sabathia, Cliff Lee, Albert Pujols, Cole Hamels, Joe Mauer, Mark Teixeira, Joey Votto and Adrian Gonzalez.

And Jacoby Ellsbury’s entire pre-tax salary ever.

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Jason Kidd’s coaching debut continues to unravel, as he celebrated the firing of his chief assistant and major PITA Lawrence Frank earlier in the day by guiding the Brooklyn Nets to a 111-87 loss at home to Denver, coached by Brian Shaw, who went to Bishop O’Dowd as opposed (often) to Kidd’s St. Joseph Notre Dame.

And it still could get worse. And the New York Knicks actually ARE still worse (and apparently trying to trade Iman Shumpert by telling prospective buyers that he isn’t being used correctly by head coach Mike Woodson). And the Giants and Jets and Islanders are still under .500, and the Rangers are right at .500 and barely still a playoff team in the hideous Eastern Conference.

You know who isn’t stinking its particular joint out? The Fordham football team, which is 12-1 and plays Towson Saturday in the second round of the FCS Playoffs.

On the road. Of course.

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Closer to home, San Jose beat Toronto, Golden State beat Toronto, Oakland has a better bullpen than Toronto, and everybody in the Bay Area definitely has a better mayor than Toronto.

Way to go, El Cerrito. You kicked some serious political ass with that one.

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And finally, the A's traded for Craig Gentry as part of Billy Beane’s latest hyperactive midlife crisis, and Gentry’s nickname is, God help him, Kitten Face.

But it could have been worse. He could have gotten traded to San Francisco, and been linked inexorably by the marketing department to Hello Kitty, making his life a living, festering, nightmarish hell of night terrors and hallucinations that would never end until he was granted the sweet release of death from a merciful supreme being – probably from Bud Selig’s consigliere, Rob Manfred.

So there’s that.