Donald Sterling calling someone a despicable monster in defense of fighting for the First Amendment, the right of privacy and “the rights of all Americans” is always a Deadwood monologue waiting for a plot treatment, and this is it. LET THE LAWSUIT FROM HELL BEGIN!
And now, the plot treatment. Enjoy, with Hell’s compliments
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Oh, and apparently, The New York Times reveals, Steve Ballmer, the owner-in-training of Sterling’s Last Stand, is not contractually bound to keep the Clippers in Los Angeles. He said he would, but Clay Bennett said he’d keep the SuperSonics in Seattle.
In other words, this is more proof that your favorite team really isn’t yours, ever. And in some cases, you’re much better off.
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The crocodile tears surrounding the Cleveland Browns’ decision to turn down HBO’s offer of Hard Knocks are copious, but as useful as gravy is to cleaning counter tops. Head coach Mike Pettine intends to keep his job longer than his predecessor, and knowing the Browns as we have, nothing good can come of their playing games, let alone showing training camp.
This, his logic – “It was for the same reason we didn't feel super comfortable having a camera in the draft room. Let's get through the first time, let's get through the first year” – makes more sense than, well, anything. Thus, I am going to throw up in this waste basket and say something I never have been able to say before: I agree with an NFL coach.
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The Washington Indigenous Also-Rans are still running focus groups to try and show that keeping their current nickname isn’t actually sending middle fingers to the Native American community. In the meantime, the Yocha Dehe Wintun Nation bought airtime in seven major cities during halftime of tonight's NBA Finals Game 3 for a one-minute spot criticizing the nickname.
So we’ll ask as we have asked before – how much will it cost to buy off Danny Snyder? I mean, do we really want to lose faith in one of the last great American institutions, bribery of the rich, just because Don Sterling would rather give a civics lesson than get a billion dollars?
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Why Darryl Sutter, professional cartoon character, isn’t one, by Bruce Arthur of the Toronto Star. Of course, we knew that about him since he coached here, but it’s still good to know his priorities are as steadfast as his face is not.
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Manny Machado, the Baltimore Chopper, got a five-game suspension for Machado-ing his way through the weekend against Oakland, which is more than most people thought he’d
Get. That said, we remain confused as to whether he got more games for throwing his bat at Fernando Abad, or fewer games because he missed him so badly.
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And finally, Derek Fisher said he wants to re-establish the New York Knicks as one of the great teams in NBA history. That laughter you hear is from the people he worked with at the NBA Players Association, as well as the people who have noticed the Knicks’ legacy through 67 years and two titles is mostly lousy. Once again, the illusion that New York is the Mecca of basketball demeans Mecca. And basketball. And frankly, the preposition “of” as well.