To open, Robin Williams. That alone is sufficient. Except for this – pain weighs more when you’re the only one carrying it. Remember that, please, and don't be shy about handing someone else the lighter end. It helps.
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Two notes from the Washington Post’s exhaustive analysis of ballpark beer: Giants 17th, A’s 18th. That is not acceptable, people should be fired over this, and owners should be fined the equivalent of their starting pitching rotation budgets for allowing it to happen. There is no other opinion to have on this, so don’t offer one. You will be wrong.
Besides, Williams, a Giants habitué, would never have tolerated such a low ranking. He’d have insisted on at least some Pliny The Elder on tap, and told jokes at 130 mph until some appeared.
[RELATED: Late Robin Williams pumped up Giants fans prior to 2010 NLDS]
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A footnote to our story on the kid who found a faux Stanley Cup ring from former Montreal Canadien and Hall of Famer Elmer Lach in an eastern Canadian river: Lach, now 96, was reported by at least one radio outlet to have died years ago, which led him to tell Dave Stubbs of the Montreal Gazette the other day, “I'm glad I didn't suffer!”
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The Philadelphia Phillies, strangely quiescent on the trade front in a situation that calls for massive salary dumping, are merely waiting for right-hander Mo’ne Davis to finish her summer league gig before a pre-September call-up. Her next game: The Little League World Series with the Taney (Philadelphia) Dragons. After that, she’ll be slipped into the rotation between David Buchanan and Jerome Williams.
Because it’s the Phillies. And because it’s Mo’ne Davis.
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Charles Wang still owns the New York Islanders because his apparent agreement to sell his team to Philadelphia hedge fund flogger Andrew Barroway for $420 million turned into an offer to sell for $548 million because, well, because Steve Ballmer and the Los Angeles Clippers.
According to the New York Daily News’ Barbara Ross and Patrick Leonard, Barroway is suing Wang for $10 million for pulling out of the deal, which they had agreed to with a handshake.
The lesson? Handshakes are not normally worth the skin they’re bonded with. The alternate lesson? If you’re willing to spend $420 million on something that’s worth $195 million, why wouldn’t someone with a slightly larcenous heart think you’d go another $128 million?
Worse yet, it’s the NEW YORK ISLANDERS, for God’s sake.
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Attention football fans complaining about the Johnny Manziel circus: You are the circus. We are the circus. We are all a circus of itinerant hobos waiting for an empty field to pitch the tent, and Manziel is the new field. The old field was Tim Tebow, and he ended up with a network gig and a bunch of postholes in his chest. Because we are the circus, and we want to be the circus, and we will always be the WILL YOU TURN DOWN THAT STINKING CALLIOPE MUSIC?!
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And finally, not to be a network shill, but the NBC Sports Ted Lasso/Tim Howard English Premier League ad is a subversive delight if only because of the framed jersey with the number 28 and the name “WANKER” on the back. We would support this on any network, to be honest, and frankly, we fully demand that Rebecca Lowe, Arlo White, et al., use the word with indiscriminate glee during the season.
Of course, we also demand this of Brian Williams on the news, because no word suits the news more these days.