Thanks to Kentucky, Cinderella is throwing up somewhere

Thanks to Kentucky, Cinderella is throwing up somewhere
March 30, 2014, 6:15 pm
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Those who forget history while trying to idealize it are doomed to repeat it, usually face-first.
Ray Ratto

Congratulations to the NCAA Tournament for producing an event in which the Cinderella story is Kentucky.

Somewhere, Cinderella is throwing up.

[RELATED: Florida, UConn, Wisconsin, Kentucky to tussle in Texas]

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If as expected Monday’s Oakland A’s opener is rained and/or flooded out, don’t get too karma’d out about what this means for the future of baseball in Oakland. If you need an omen, keep your eyes peeled for arks.

And whatever else you do, keep your eyes peeled to yourselves. Everyone else will think you’re nuts.

[RELATED: A's Gray makes up for inexperience with poise, pedigree]

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Montreal hosted two Mets-Blue Jays exhibition games, brining back the nostalgia for the Expos Era and encouraging thoughts of a new team in Montreal.

This is a noble and laudable concept, but the sidebar – that someone else should lose their team for Montreal to get its second crack at the pastime – is not so swell. Those who forget history while trying to idealize it are doomed to repeat it, usually face-first. Montreal’s future only works as it should if it doesn’t mean giving the original Montreal Screwjob (Expos to Washington, not Bret Hart striped of the then-WWF title) to someone else.

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Jaba Kankava has a trainer’s job waiting for him when his soccer career with Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk of the Ukrainian soccer league ends.

Kankava saw Dynamo Kyiv captain Oleh Husyev get kneed in the head inadvertently by Dnipro goalie Denis Boyko, and raced over a hunch that Husyev was in greater trouble than just a headache.

He was – he’d swallowed his tongue. Kankava pried Husyev’s mouth open and cleared his airway, thus saving his life.

He still ended up with the headache, but it was the least objectionable outcome.

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Hockey needs fighting, as long as they all end like this:

Matt Puntureri of the Danville Dashers and Jesse Felton of the Dayton Demonz decided to go at it after a faceoff in the third period of Friday's Federal League game (yes, the Charlestown Chiefs of Slap Shot fame played in the Federal League, but this is a different one, you old coot). They circled each other and then closed ranks only to hug instead and then, to make sure the message was delieverd, Puntureri pulled a beer out of his pads, cracked it open and took a belt before skating around the rink with Felten.

Felen then noticed that Puntureri brought only one beer and leveled him with a straight right hand. That last part’s a lie, but hey, even Don Cherry deserves a fake happy ending now and then.

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Charles Barkley told Jim Rome, and we quote, Charles Barkley On Tom Izzo: “He is not that stupid to take that Pistons job.”

Of course, nobody was saying that before the Detroits lost to Philadelphia by 25 points Saturday night. PHILADELPHIA. BY TWENTY-FIVE POINTS.

But maybe the Philly fans knew something was up, because they comprised the fourth largest crowd of the season to watch what figured to be just one more hot mess in a season so dreadful that their heroes lost 26 straight games and still aren’t in last place.

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And finally, Stanford’s women’s basketball team has reached Monday’s Stanford Regional final (how convenient) against North Carolina, and the heavy betting is that Tara Van Derveer will exhort her players to “win this one for Monty,” after her longtime Stanford bête-noire-and-contemporary, Mike Montgomery, who may be retiring.

Actually, that’s a second lie in one column. But hey, you knew the job was dangerous when you started reading.