Timberwolves and pink backpacks don't see eye to eye

Timberwolves and pink backpacks don't see eye to eye
November 12, 2013, 8:45 pm
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They actually said they don’t want us carrying them, but I understand with the stuff going on with the football thing. They want to be separate from that. Now I think rookie hazing won’t exist anymore.
Shabazz Muhammad

Today’s example of the HR-ification of sports (hah! You won’t catch me crossing that line!) is the Minnesota Timberwolves’ decision to ban the use of (oh dear God why am I typing this?) pink Jonas Brothers backpacks, as they did with rookie Shabazz Muhammad.

“They actually said they (team president Chris Wright and general manager Milt Newton) don’t want us carrying them, but I understand with the stuff going on with the football thing,” Muhammad told the Los Angeles Times. “They want to be separate from that. Now I think rookie hazing won’t exist anymore.”

Of course, there was an easy solution. Have ALL the players wear pink Jonas Brothers backpacks, or branch out into other realms, like Dora the Explorer or Hello Kitty. That way, it could be considered team bonding.

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The new Warriors arena design is only slightly different than either of the first two, and we suspect there will be other modifications between now and go time.

In short, don’t be surprised if Golden State becomes the first NBA team to play half court.

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By the way, some family business. I am the long-lost nephew of Ozzie and Daniel Silna.

This matters because the NBA is again trying to settle “the best deal in sports history” with the Silnas, who agreed to fold the Spirits of St. Louis when the NBA absorbed part of the ABA in 1976. In exchange for agreeing to disappear their team, the Silnas received one-seventh of the television revenues of the four ABA teams that were accepted -- Denver, Brooklyn, Indiana and San Antonio.

In perpetuity. As in forever.

Plus, now a judge has said their take also includes internet revenues, so their check for presenting no basketball games a year ago was $19 million, and their total haul in the 37 years of the deal is $300 million. Hell, the league would have been better off letting THEM have the Sacramento Kings for nothing and let them move the team to St. Louis.

As it is, we don’t see settlement talks going very far. I’d take 20 big a year, pay out no contracts, negotiate no arena leases, never have to talk to any mayors or agents or other equally unpleasant mammalia, and let someone else win all the championship rings in the world. So you go, Uncle Ozzie and Uncle Danny. Just remember your brand new new relatives like you do your old ones.

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And finally, there’s Atlanta, where Joe Dendy, chairman of the Cobb County Republican Party, says he and his people will support a ballpark for the Braves under two conditions:

- No new taxes for county citizens
- No money for rail access from Atlanta to the stadium.

More specifically, he said, “It is absolutely necessary the (transportation) solution is all about moving cars in and around Cobb and surrounding counties from our north and east where most Braves fans travel from, and not moving people into Cobb by rail from Atlanta.”

We don’t live in the greater Atlanta area and are in no position to cast aspersions upon people we do not know, but for fans of between-the-lines reading, that’s a sentence he may live to rue.