Vikings don't care that new stadium is death trap for birds

Vikings don't care that new stadium is death trap for birds
July 23, 2014, 8:30 pm
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Activist and governmental groups have called on the Vikings to adjust the lighting and transparency of their new stadium so as not to baffle the spatially challenged beasts.
Ray Ratto

Don Sterling is back to suing the NBA and his wife Cruella. You should not be surprised by this, even though he talked with prospective owner Steve Ballmer just a day earlier. But you should be gratified that he is fighting Hell with both hands and as many lawyers will take his billables. Hope it lasts forever, just to see if Adam Silver can sweat on cue.

As has been said here before, Go Chaos! Hope this litigidiocy lasts forever.

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The Minnesota Audubon Society has accused the Minnesota Vikings and their new glass exterior stadium of being bad for the state’s local and migratory bird populations. The team has refused to change the glass to a less avian-baffling form, and the Audubonians have responded in kind, saying, “The Vikings recently approved spending millions and millions of additional dollars to make sure the stadium is ‘iconic;’ – surely they also want to make sure it's not a death trap. We're asking them to change their minds and do the right thing.”

Audubon Minnesota and other activist and governmental groups have called on the Vikings to adjust the lighting and transparency of the building so as not to baffle the spatially challenged beasts. So far, nothing, but since it inspired Deadspin’s Barry Petchesky, who is essentially evil, to type the phrase “feathered imbeciles,” it’s worth the trouble to bring it to you.

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I’d like someone to defend me publicly with the stridency Iago Aspas emitted in the defense of his former Liverpool teammate Luis Suarez. During a radio interview with Cadena Cope in Spain, Aspas thought Suarez’ four-month ban for attempting to eat bits of Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini was unfair and excessive, all the way to the fact that Suarez’ new team, Barcelona, couldn’t do the traditional big unveiling/presser.

“They are treating Luis like a murderer and not like a footballer,” he told whomever passes for the station’s Morning Zoo. “There are murderers who pay less (for what they have done). Not to let him be presented, to train or to enter the stadium is too much.”

Suarez was just transferred to Barca for $128 million, and he will earn $17 million this year, unless he bites someone else, in which case he could lose as much as $5 million of that. Which, of course, is not too much.

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Borussia Dortmund coach Jurgen Klopp is not only a superb manager, he makes Steve Spurrier wish he were glib. So when he was asked if Mats Hummels, one the winning German national team players and a Dortmunder, was heading for Manchester United, he responded pithily (according to German journalist Raphael Honigstein) as well as charmingly:

“If that’s not a b---s--- story, I’ll eat a broomstick!” Yes, he said the be-dashed expletive as you are used to hearing it, and yes, he actually meant a broomstick

Jim Harbaugh, a challenge has been issued. Raise your game, because that “humble hearts” crapola has run its course.

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British heavyweight boxer Tyson Fury (if that’s not a made-up name, I’ll eat a broomstick) was miffed when Dereck Chesora (no, you do not need to know who he is) pulled out of an upcoming fight with an injury, and went to Twitter to express his dismay while challenging undefeated American Deontay Wilder.

“Told you all what would happen find me a real man to fight the furious1. P------ p------ p-------. @LucyBronze I want you punk.?”

Ignoring the very real likelihood that he typed this while still wearing his gloves, he also failed at Twitter. Wilder’s account is @BronzeBomber, which means @LucyBronze got a surprise. And since @LucyBronze is actually Lucy Bronze, who plays for Liverpool and the English national women’s team, Fury had essentially called out a woman who is actually 16 inches shorter and technically a featherweight.

Fortunately, Bronze has a sense of humor, and responded in a way that saved Fury a trip from whomever passes as the HR department in boxing: “Sorry to let everyone down, but I’m unavailable for a fight.” Fury then admitted he did indeed pick the wrong address . . . but suspiciously, he didn’t specifically withdraw the demand for Bronze to fight him, so he may still want the match, with the winner getting Wilder.

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And finally, Chicago Blackhawks multimillionaire and hockey player Patrick Kane went home to Buffalo Monday to moonlight with the Piranhas, one of the clubs in the adult Performax Hockey League, and apparently he has a history with the Piranhas’ archrivals, the Essex Street Pub, at least enough to go for five goals and five assists as part of the Piranhas’ 13-5 win. According to TSN’s BarDown web site, Kane wasn’t even the team’s leading scorer; the scandalously underpaid Vinny Scarsella, who played at Canisius with another former NHLer, Tim Kennedy, had seven of the other eight goals.

Next up for the 6-3 Piranhas: The Peace Frogs, who are 6-2-1 and thus of a hell of a lot better than the Essex Street Pub. Let’s see if this Kane yobbo is truly serious about his craft. Because if he is, Tyson Fury might want to exchange tweets with him.