The weight of the world is on Bruno Mars' shoulders

The weight of the world is on Bruno Mars' shoulders
January 29, 2014, 8:45 pm
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I treat the Super Bowl halftime as I would any other halftime – an opportunity to watch anything else in the world.
Ray Ratto

The Thursday highlight from Ice Super Bowl Zebra will be the entertainment press conference, with a particular emphasis on halftime entertainer Bruno Mars. Now last year Beyoncé killed it both Thursday and Sunday, according to those who attended it, so Mars, whose surname is not the same as his planet of origin in case you were wondering, has a lot of pressure on him.

At least he might. I wouldn’t know. I treat the Super Bowl halftime as I would any other halftime – an opportunity to watch anything else in the world. And given the length of most Super Bowl halftimes, I’m thinking I can squeeze in three episodes of QI, or half of Gandhi.


Tennessee tight end Delanie Walker, the former 49er, rolled a fragmentation grenade into his locker room via a radio show, saying that the Titans were awash in team cancers in 2013, hastening the end of head coach Mike Munchak.

“When we started losing more games, we got to see it more and more, it was just like it was falling apart, and the players that were the cancer were dragging other players into that box with them, and the box was getting bigger and bigger. At first, it was just a small box. The box just got bigger and bigger.”

His working theory is that new coach Ken Whisenhunt will see the problem on film and start disinfecting the place. But he’ll have to have a keen eye.

“Some of the guys (who were) the cancer, they really didn't care. They'd be happy to get up on out from the organization. You would hear them talk about it, 'I can't wait to get up on out of here.’ And I always told guys, ‘If you can't play here, what do you think you are going to do with another team?’”

Depends on their 40 times and weight room scores. After all, in the NFL a fast, strong cancer is always preferable.


One ex-Titan who turned up fine is former defensive coach Gregg Williams, who was named St. Louis' defensive coordinator after Tim Walton was fired Wednesday – a mere month after the end of the season.

Williams was originally hired by the Rams as defensive coordinator in 2012 before being suspended in the Saints bounty scandal, which places his hiring as the equivalent of Melky Cabrera being suspended for PED use in 2012 and missing the World Series, and then getting a raise from the Toronto Blue Jays the next year.

See what we mean about 40 times and weight room scores?


The Phoenix Coyotes will be called the Arizona Coyotes next year, which is their first real name change after a number of false starts, including Toronto Coyotes, Hamilton Coyotes, Quebec City Coyotes, Winnipeg Coyotes, Brooklyn Coyotes and Seattle Coyotes.


Warren Sapp says publicly that Michael Strahan doesn’t belong in the Hall of Fame. Michael Strahan indirectly calls Warren Sapp a coward for not confronting him directly.

I think we all know where this must end – Saturday, at the Sheraton downtown, shirtless and cranked up in the room where there the new class of Hall of Famers is introduced, while Kelly Ripa stands to one side holding a folding chair. So between now and then, if you could tweet
#letthemfightlikechildrenforourprurientamusementandtheirenduringembarrassmentbecauseweresmallpeoplewholovetoseethingslikethat, you’ll have a really unpleasant feeling in what used to be your soul . . . and you’ll still have 15 characters left to say something annoying about your new puppy.


We will never be clear of Tebow Nation, and this makes that law. The Virginia House of Delegates Wednesday gave preliminary approval to the so-called “Tebow Bill” that would allow qualifying home-schooled students to play high school sports in public schools. The House advanced the measure on a voice vote. It advances to final House passage on Thursday.

Yes, we take from this that Tim Tebow was the first child ever to be home-schooled, so like that there.


And finally, no, I don’t have an opinion about Justin Bieber, unless one of the options is sealed inside a bathysphere and dropped into the Marianas Trench – if for no better reason than to lower property values in the Marianas Trench.

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