David Boren? It's me, Larry Scott

David Boren? It's me, Larry Scott
September 28, 2011, 11:02 pm
Share This Post

Weve waited long enough for Larry Scott to amuse us again with one of his clever circumnavigations of the flat states. The football season hasnt really hit its stride yet, and we demand entertainment.

In short, its time for another call to David Boren, the president of the University of Oklahoma.

Hey Dave? Its me. Larry.

Unless youre calling because you forgot your watch at the last meeting, I dont have the time for this.

No, no, listen. Youll like this. My biggest game this weekend isnt until 9:30 your time, and your boys are playing Ball State. Lets have some fun.

Your kind of fun made me look like an idiot.

Thats just those nitwit sportswriters. They still dont know what happened. And I think its time to give them another tweak.

Tweak?

You fly to Denver. I meet you there. If were caught, I say I came to watch Washington State-Colorado. You say youre scouting out Colorado State for the Big 12.

Yeah, and why do we meet in Denver?

To get them to write that youre still pissed at Texas and were still willing to have you.

But you dont want us without Texas. You told me that.

And I meant it. But are you still pissed at Texas?

Of course. Everyones pissed at Texas all the time. Its their sheer Texasness.

So lets give em a little more back. We let ourselves be seen, and let everyone draw their own wild-assed conclusions.

To what end?

For snicks and giggles, you mirthless . . . sorry, my apologies. Lets do it because we can. Because you have a free weekend and so do I. because watching DeLoss Dodds eat his own liver is so damned much fun.

But what about the five-year deal we just agreed to? What about our word? What about our integrity?

Please. And stop. And those three things put together are less valuable than one good plate of barbecue.

Well, yeah.

Okay. So lets do this. We dont have to shake hands or anything, unless there are cameras staking us out. No agreements, no side deals. Just fun.

Just fun?

Just fun. For at least a year.

Okay, Im up for that. I got a couple of people at the Daily Oklahoman who look like theyre about to snap anyway. It would be a hoot to watch them fly around the air like a deflating balloon.

Thats the spirit. And if you actually do want to talk about . . .

Larry!

Sorry. But you cant blame a girl for trying.

I know. I know. But in all frankness, Larry, you make a damned poor girl.

Ray Ratto is a columnist for CSNBayArea.com