Dusty Baker's bold idea

Dusty Baker's bold idea
May 27, 2013, 3:15 pm
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Dusty Baker wants baseball to be more like hockey with physical altercations between players to settle disputes. (AP)

Dusty Baker thinks players should settle their differences, like his Johnny Cueto and the Cubs’ Matt Garza on Sunday, the old fashioned way. By fighting.

Garza objected to Cueto throwing up and in to his teammate David DeJesus and said so to a number of writers, including MLB.com’s Mark Sheldon.

“Cueto should learn, you don’t go after guy’s heads,” Garza said. “Don’t wake a sleeping dog. I think that’s kind of immature on his part and totally uncalled for. He’s lucky that retaliation isn’t in our vocabulary. You play each game like it’s a new one. That’s (nonsense) on his part — just total immaturity. If he has something to say about it, he knows where to find my locker, and I’ll definitely find his.”

So Baker responded in his best Tortorella-esque way.

“Take care of it then,” Baker said. “I mean, (Cueto) couldn’t hit Wilt Chamberlain with that pitch. I don’t think Johnny cares either. You got something to say, you go over there and tell him. Johnny ain’t running. Know what I mean? A guy can say what he wants to say, but it’s better if you go over and say it to his face.

“I just wish, just put them in a room, let them box and let it be over with, know what I mean? I always said this. Let it be like hockey. Let them fight, somebody hits the ground and then it’ll be over with. I’m serious about that. I come from a different school. Guys didn’t talk as much. You just did it.”

Somewhere, Don Cherry is taking notes with a smile.

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Tennis player Sergei Stakhovsky decided a line call that went against him in his French Open match against Richard Gasquet Monday was wrong, as is his right. So he argued with the chair umpire and lost, which is his right and the umpire’s as well. So Stakhovsky in a fit of artistic pique took a photo of the ball mark with his iPhone, which is also his right. And he ended up losing the match anyway, which is also his right. But it was a nice photo of dirt next to a white line, so if the tennis thing doesn’t work, and he is ranked 101st in the world, maybe he could get work in a gallery.

Which, we needn’t add, is his right.

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Arizona pitcher Ian Kennedy cut his finger while doing dishes and missed Monday’s start for the Diamondbacks. We can only presume he will soon receive a truckload of plastic utensils from Giants’ pitcher Jeremy Affeldt, who blew a save against a package of frozen hamburgers two years ago.

But more to the point, shouldn’t Major League Baseball have a program of intern domestics to handle these chores for their players? I mean, now that the umpires have all been fixed, it surely must be the game’s next frontier.

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So now it’s called “poor academic judgment?” is it? Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson is now suspended for “poor academic judgment?” Sounds like he made a judgment that academics weren’t all that relevant, which means it wasn’t “poor,” it was simply “at variance with the momentarily prevailing norms.”

Which of course will be the next euphemism, until it is replaced with “used academic judgment that could not be adequately countervailed by completion percentage.”

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We know it’s a holiday weekend and all so people’s outrage meters aren’t turned up as high, but Adrian Peterson’s Sirius XM radio interview in which he said gay marriage is “not something I believe in” was several days old before it broke on Memorial Day.

Maybe it’s because he had the perfectly reasonable sense to add, “But to each his own,” and not to cite the breakdown of civil society as a result of the law, which goes into effect in Minnesota in August.

He did use the old “some of my best relatives are gay” explanation: “I have relatives who are gay. I'm not biased towards them. I still treat them the same. I love 'em.” And he is on the wrong side of history here, as events have, are, and will continue to show.

But maybe the long delay between him saying it and the muted reaction to it indicates that most of us have already decided that the debate is actually over. Or maybe “to each his own” is an adequate way to believe what you wish without being branded as evil.

Or maybe people were just too busy grilling stuff to care. We’re guessing (C).

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And finally, San Jose Shark Scott Gomez was asked if he had any advice for the little todgers out there about handling a Game 7, and he came up all Ward Cleaver for them:

“Yeah,” the winger said as he thought of his own Game 7 coming Tuesday against Los Angeles. “Don’t suck.”

Now that’s a sentiment I think we can all agree on, even in the fractious times in which we live.