The future of court-covering designs

The future of court-covering designs
April 12, 2013, 12:30 am
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The trick for this group is to go beyond, “Aha! That’s why it’s happening!” to actually fixing it.
—Ray Ratto

So you all made fun of Oregon’s tree-lined basketball floor? You thought it was stupid and silly and marketing gone amok? Fine. But it is the wave of the here and now, since Florida International has turned its court into a beach, with seashore and palm trees and everything but daiquiris unchained.

Oh, and a tiger prowling at midcourt, because that’s where tigers go on vacation. A hardwood beach.

Point is, the trees won, in a rout. There are more scenic floors coming after this, to the point where you will never see where the charge arc is painted. Cal, for example, may advance its own makeover by repainting Haas Pavilion’s floor as a cave. Stanford, of course, will maintain its usual understated blah-ness, because painting the floor in hundred dollar bills is considered gauche even by NCAA standards. And Saint Mary’s will go with a herd of kangaroos.

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Danny Amendola’s father Willie is suing Cowboys Stadium for inadvertently unleashing a runaway golf cart than plowed him over as he was giving a postgame interview on the field after the high school team he coaches, Dekaney High, had won the state championship. Apparently stadium workers accidentally wedged a pylon in the accelerator, causing motorized havoc as well as injuries, embarrassment and a burst of legal terms that may add up to a million dollars for Amendola.

But as Roger Goodell and the NFL competition committee likes to tell us, if the cart had kept its helmet up and tackled properly, with the fender rather than the grill, none of this would have happened.

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With Jackie Robinson’s movie staring over everyone’s shoulder, Bud Selig gathered a 17-person diversity committee to consider the ongoing dearth of African-American players. The problem of declining baseball participation among young blacks has been ongoing for decades now, so the trick for this group is to go beyond, “Aha! That’s why it’s happening!” to actually fixing it. Which means a committee of several hundred thousand, if truth be told.

But at least we can hope there’ll be more product from this group than the San Jose blue ribbon committee. Just ordering lunch ought to do it.

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The New York Rangers’ Brian Boyle is a Catholic. He also stands with You Can Play, the anti-homophobic hockey group that has been working toward not only tolerance but acceptance of gays who want to play hockey. His explanation, courtesy Jesse Spector of The Sporting News, explains why people of conscience don’t get to sit this out:

True, this isn’t excessively mean-spirited or snotty, but without the occasional good thing, you can’t truly appreciate all the crummy ones.

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Texas A&M and Texas are in the Quidditch World Cup Final Tournament. Honestly. Stanford isn’t. Honestly. Makes you wonder how they win the Directors Cup every year.

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Thursday’s Twitter Happy Fun Time game was people retweeting Mark May’s typing product, presumably to mock the college football analyst for, well, whatever it is he tweeted at any given time, I guess. Yes, it’s a slow news day. Besides, how many Tianlang Guan-Tiger Woods comparisons can you read in one day?

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May 27-30. Giants and A’s. Finally, a series worth savoring.

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And finally, isn’t it time for a Jorge Soler bobblehead? True, you’d need a dugout full of cowering bobbleheads in a dugout while his bobblehead menaces them with a bat, but minor league teams are good for that level of creativity. Plus, you know the old adage: Say It With Neck Springs.