How bad are NCAA's progressive jerseys?

How bad are NCAA's progressive jerseys?
March 15, 2013, 10:00 am
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Baylor, Cincinnati, Kansas, Notre Dame, Louisville and UCLA are all sporting the new Adidas adizero uniform system. (USA TODAY IMAGES)

Oakland Raider fans have endured plenty since their kinda sorta heroes returned from Los Angeles, almost to the point of outright fraud. Thus, they smile ruefully upon learning the news that the tuck rule is likely to be dust-binned when the NFL owners next meet to reduce the planet’s supply of shrimp-based appetizers.

The tuck rule, which has existed since 1999 but was first unearthed at the Raiders-Patriots playoff game three seasons later, brings out the worst in some Raider fans, in the same way that the Civil War (or War of Northern Aggression, to mollify you nutbars out there) brings out the worst in some Southerners.

It makes them claim with absolute certitude that the call was based on a long-lived conspiracy against the Raiders for being the Raiders, was a made-up rule to begin with, and turned the Patriots into the team of the last decade. Without that call, they assert, history would have been different.

Maybe. The conspiracy theories are largely lunacy, every rule is made up until it becomes a rule, which it was when Walt Coleman called it, and the Patriots might have been just as good for just as long even without that game.

Of course, you subset of Raider fans could be right about all of it, but you’ll have to go to a parallel universe to enjoy it, and even with the advancements in finding the Higgs Boson, none of you will live long enough to manage that, any more than someone in rural Alabama can re-fight the Battle of Gettysburg and expect a different outcome. The high ground, boys –- you should have had the high ground.

In short, we of the three-dimensional universe wish not to be burdened by your revisionist analysis of NFL history. Hate the Patriots all you want (I mean, what the hell do we care who you hate?), but hate them among like minds, if you would be so kind. The war is over; put away your muskets.

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Among the few things we learned from Pope Francis I’s first homily from the Sistine Chapel, the University of Cincinnati is going to Hell for the things they wore in their decisive loss to Georgetown in the Big East Tournament.

“Not the students,” he said in Latin. “They are innocent in this. I mean anyone who thought the uniforms were a good idea at any point. That’s all I’m sayin’. Oh, and Go Catholic 7!”

Meanwhile, Louisville and Notre Dame play in the Adidas Bad Idea Uniform elimination game in the other half of the bracket, and UCLA, another member of the Bad Idea Six, advanced to the Pac-12 semis. Sixth member Baylor got jobbed at the end against Oklahoma State, probably because the officials lost the ability the perceive depth.

* * *

I don’t want to say Chris Hansen is confident about getting the Sacramento Kings for Seattle, mostly because Sacramentans get collective angina when I do, but here’s how confident he is. He’s already fantasizing about having a hockey team as his planned Sodo arena’s second client. He already has arena schematics for both a basketball and hockey setup on line, and since he can’t get he arena without first getting the Kings, I’d say he is either hugely sure of himself, knows how the votes are going to land, or is running an elaborate bluff.

But if it isn’t No. 3, I’m guessing Glendale, Arizona, is about to feel the way Sacramento will –- down a professional tenant, and unhappy about it.

* * *

The Sharks scored two games worth of goals Thursday against Los Angeles, which is game-fixy enough as it is, but the bigger story from the game is the fact that Brent Burns (second excellent game in succession as a right wing) laughs at your Sidney Crosby. Or he would if he were nuts . . . and given his odd animal-based hobbies in the offseason, I eliminate no potential motives.