John Tortorella deserved an extension

John Tortorella deserved an extension
May 29, 2013, 11:30 pm
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Most hockey people assume referee Stephen Walkom, who called the controversial coincidental penalties that wiped out a potential game-winning goal for the Chicago Blackhawks, was delighted when the Hawks scored in overtime and advanced the Western Conference final. Well, that’s not how it works.

If he thinks he blew the penalty call, he’ll be miserable anyway. And if he thinks he was right, he’s calling all of you idiots.

Frankly, I wish there were a way it could be both.

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So Joe Paterno’s family is joining the players and Penn State administrators who are suing the NCAA for being bullies, thugs and weasels. You know, for being the NCAA.

Of course, the wrong people are suing the right people here; the ones who should be doing so are the athletes and workers who required the money from the football program for their jobs and contracted opportunities. But they’ll be hosed because that’s the way these things work – unless we can find a judge in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania who can make all the parties lose.

Hey, we live in hope.

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Quincy Pondexter, a part of the freshly incinerated Memphis Grizzlies, tweeted out a request for the identity of the current Miss Tennessee, and oddly, Miss Tennessee, Chandler Lawson, responded, and they ended up having a date. Like bloomed.

Of course, there is the possibility that he was being pranked by Chandler Parsons of the Houston Rockets. Again, we live in hope.

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John Tortorella will no longer be making us smile by making us frown. Sad, this. Not because he didn’t deserve firing by the New York Rangers, mind you . . . or at least have a hard time mounting a countervailing argument.

It’s just that there’s a compelling explanation for why he does not have a job and Rutgers’ radioactive athletic director-to-be Julie Hermann still does. And now that we’ve put it that way, it’s hard to see why he didn’t get an extension.

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Rob Gronkowski, who has already had four arm surgeries, is now going to have back surgery and will miss most of the offseason.

Good news, though. He now has those endorsements with Velcro and the board game Operation to fall back on if the football thing doesn’t work out.

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A New Jersey parent is suing his son’s high school for $40 million because the boy wasn’t allowed to run on the track team, and was bullied and harassment. He is also suing for letterman’s jackets for the past two seasons. The school is claiming the boy was not allowed to run because of too many unexcused absences from practice.

No. I tried, but I don’t care either.

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And finally, Bob Dutton of the Kansas City Star asked Royals manager Ned Yost if his players were being held accountable for their wretched May, which got worse with Wednesday’s 5-3 loss to St. Louis. Yost’s response:

“What are you asking me to do?” he snapped at Dutton. “Take my belt off and spank them? Yell at them? Scream at them? What do you want?”

Speaking for Dutton, a time machine that goes back to right before Yost’s answer seems like an intriguing notion.