Kidd should hire Spike Lee as an assistant coach

Tom Tolbert & Ray Ratto break down Jason Kidd's hiring in Brooklyn

Kidd should hire Spike Lee as an assistant coach
June 12, 2013, 9:45 pm
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Jason Kidd appeared in 76 games for the Knicks this season and averaged six points, 4.3 rebounds, and 3.3 assists per game. (USA TODAY IMAGES)

This should always be remembered when you think of Jason Kidd, Instant Coach. On the up-side, he could be Don Nelson. On the down side, he could be Magic Johnson. And while everyone thinks that Lawrence Frank will be an excellent first assistant, the choice of second clipboard could be the real key to Kidd’s chances.

In that spirit, we suggest Doris Burke for novelty/knowledge value, Ernie Johnson for that calming influence in times of stress, Spike Lee to cut into the Knicks thing, and John Tortorella for media savvy and general morale.

[RATTO: Can Kidd emulate Mark Jackson's success?]

Oh, and Brian Shaw as general manager, because why the hell not?

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Now THIS is what coaches talk about when the subject is giving it all for the team.

David Terrell, who was listed by the Chicago Tribune as one of the team’s biggest draft busts ever, responded to the paper’s web site and writer Riley Blevins. His claim: That he played for so many quarterbacks, most of them substandard, that he could never really say he had a fair opportunity to prove his true worth.

When Blevins then asked Terrell, “What would you have a given to have played with a quarterback like Jay Cutler?” Terrell answered with bright neon lights and blaring sirens:

“I would have cut off both my balls,” Terrell said after an extended laugh. “I’d give those up, no problem. You could have neutered me. I woulda been neutered with a smile. S---, man, for real.”

This raises the bar for all other NFL players to show how much they want it. Soprano up for the company, fellows, because your desire can now be measured by the quality of your high C. Break a glass, and you can get your number retired.

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The Terrell story is just one thing for eighth-grader/quarterback Lindell Stone to remember as he ponders the scholarship offer from UCLA. That, and the restrictive letter of intent make this offer pretty bogus indeed.

But maybe he can turn it into a professorship at UNLV once he hits high school. Just remember, my lad – nobody will look after you but you and yours. Better you learn this before you get your learner’s permit than after.

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This sign can now be found across the top of MLB.com:

OVER ONE DAY WITHOUT A BEANBALL ATTEMPT, BENCH-EMPTYING BRAWL OR  COACH POSTURING LIKE A MIDDLE-AGED TOUGH GUY IN A TAVERN TWO DRINKS PAST HIS SELL-BY DATE.

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This is perfect – well, nerdly perfect, anyway. The Miami Marlins have won their last five games against the New York Mets, and one of their last 15 games against all other professional baseball teams. So if you’re a Mets fan . . . well, stop.

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On a related note, the Giants are 26-12 at Third and King and Chase Field, and 7-19 everywhere else. A lesser team would fire its traveling secretary.

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Who convinced Jaromir Jagr that the Duane Allman/chinless beard look is coming back? And if it was you, can you publicly apologize as quickly as possible?

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And finally, after early returns from the precincts, the Stanley Cup Final is way kicking the NBA Finals. And no, this is not commercial announcement – unless of course someone to slip me a check, in which case it is a commercial announcement.

And yes, dignity is overrated.