The L.A. Lakers have a brand new 'fan'

The L.A. Lakers have a brand new 'fan'
April 22, 2013, 11:45 pm
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Mike D’Antoni isn’t necessarily out of the woods when it comes to ending up a fan himself.
—Ray Ratto

The Big 10’s most idiotic idea ever, the Leaders and Legends divisions, were smothered mercilessly Friday afternoon, which you probably didn’t notice because, as Spencer Hall of Every Day Should Be Saturday pointed out, the news was released a half-hour after Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was captured.

This is taking a mild embarrassment that everyone knew would meet a slow and uninteresting end and making it disappear so brilliantly that both Penn and Teller whistled in admiration.

But that’s the problem of timing – the conference might not have had anything actually embarrassing in the in-box to haul at such a nobody’s-looking-at-you-anyway moment. As a result of the work of many law enforcement professionals in New England, many people will now know that the conference will likely have no first-round pick in the NFL Draft for the first time since 1953, which is probably more troubling for the conference than new divisional names.

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Barry Zito and Buster Posey are in the new issue of GQ Magazine. Neither of them should be particularly proud of this, but you know how it is when you are married champions. Festivals of shallowness like this become important to, well, someone, so Posey and Zito signed off on it. But if they make it to Us Magazine any time soon, that’s probably one for the Giants to keep to themselves.

Zito, for his part, also says in the magazine that he has discovered a new passion – shooting firearms. I imagine that is subtly aimed at those who ragged him for all those years and thought you were safe from retribution.

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Mike D’Antoni referred to Kobe Bryant as “a fan” when he was asked after Game 1 what he thought of Bryant tweeting during the Lakers’ loss to San Antonio in Game One. I’m sure D’Antoni didn’t actually mean it that way. I’m also sure it will be taken exactly that way by Bryant, which also means Jim Buss.

In other words, D’Antoni isn’t necessarily out of the woods when it comes to ending up a fan himself, if you know what we mean, and we think you do.

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David Lee and Roy Hibbert, who loathe each other from incidents past and maybe even future, are actually reaching out to each other as Lee has reverted to civilian life. This is disturbing, but you be the judge. First, Hibbert:

“I really don't like @Dlee042 but I really hope he has a speedy recovery. Hate to see guys get hurt or injured.”

Now Lee:

“@Hoya2aPacer Good to know our dislike is mutual, that being said I appreciate the tweet Roy!”

Somewhere, Kobe Bryant is puking disgustedly.

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Texas manager Ron Washington got caught on TV working a smoke in the dugout Sunday, which the director quickly turned into a different shot because, after all, nobody except everyone knows that Wash deals with the stress of the job with the occasional coffin nail.

This reminds us of the late Earl Weaver, who smoked so much during games that he gave one of his closers, Don Stanhouse, the nickname “Fullpack,” for the number of darts Weaver needed to get through one of his saves.

And Weaver is in the Hall of Fame, so take that. Washington, of course, will get a lecture, but I’m guessing it will be less about the evils of tobacco than it will be the art of cupping the cig more efficiently. Or managing from the tunnel.

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The Atlantic Coast Conference’s new media rights deal gives every school $20 million per year and a grant of rights that allows the conference to keep those rights if a school leaves the conference. It is the fifth conference to manage that figure. I think there are fewer college football fans who will make that number sustainable than the conferences say. And I also think that this will not make life any easier for Vanderbilt, Iowa State, Wake Forest or Washington State than it was under the old way of extorting money from the rich and gullible.

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And finally, with the news that NASA's Kepler space telescope has located two planets 1,200 light years away where liquid water might exist, making life possible, we now hear that if the Maloofs’ deal with Seattle falls through, they are ready to open negotiations with whatever happens to live there. David Stern assures us there will not be a bidding war.