Maybe it's better the A's got screwed

Colon: Donaldson and Balfour should have been All-Stars

Maybe it's better the A's got screwed
July 7, 2013, 9:00 pm
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Josh Donaldson is hitting .317 with 15 HRs and a .385 OBP for the first-place A's. (AP IMAGES)

Andy Murray’s victory at Wimbledon was hailed as a victory for all of Britain, but it wouldn’t have been if William Wallace had finished the job. Murray is a Scot, you see, and there was a bit of snit over Scotland’s first minister Alex Salmond,  who is pro-Scottish independence, flying the Scots flag in the seats after Murray’s win.

Avoiding the political thicket as any smart athlete does, Murray took the high road by saying he won for Britain, thus he was hailed as becoming him the first British men’s winner in 77 years.

[RELATED: Murray bring Wimbledon title back to U.K.]

Which of course is wrong. People forget the plucky Angus Podgorny, who played in a kilt to show his loyalty to the Scots cause, beat a giant blancmange in the 1969 final, as shown first on Monty Python’s Flying Circus’ “You’re No Fun Anymore” episode. And yes, the blancmange was every bit as tough an out as Novak Djokovic, at least until it was consumed at championship point by the equally underheralded Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Brainsample.

Thus, despite being called “History Boy” by the Times of London in Monday’s editions, Murray broke only a 44-year streak, which isn’t nearly so damned impressive. We await reaction to this criminal slight from Podgorny’s heirs.


Here’s a question: When one of the American League All Stars comes up with a pulled eyelid, as some often do, does Jim Leyland ignore his too-many-third-basemen-spoil-the-chili edict and take Josh Donaldson, or someone else? I mean, he did go to so much trouble to praise the A’s third baseman as someone who got screwed by the system and all.

[RELATED: Leyland on Donaldson: 'This kid's an All-Star]

On the other hand, isn’t it better for the A’s to feel a bit screwed even by the rest of baseball, just to keep that snippy edge? I know that violates the Billy Beane’s old  “chemistry doesn’t matter” saw, but the A’s are always best when they’re being pissy about something or other. Hey, they won three World Series in the ‘70s hating their owner, their manager and often themselves, no?


The University of Oregon’s public address announcer, Don Essig, wrote a letter in Sunday’s Eugene Register-Guard proposing that the U ease its parking problems by tearing down its venerable old basketball arena, MacArthur Court, and replace it with such a concrete box. As someone who has no stake in the argument other than having an offspring skiving an education there, let me say this:

Don, you know way more about this than I ever will, but if one brick moves out of that building, the school might as well just become a JiffyLube.

Oh, and if you are better connected to the university than I, don’t feel like you need to respond. You will be ignored for the perfectly sensible reasons that (a) I’m right, and (b) I don’t want to discuss it any further than I already have.


God, that felt good, just to get in and out of someone else’s argument before anyone laid a glove on me.


Isn’t it remarkable how quickly Jarrett Jack went from the guy who dribbles too much, shoots too much and makes Warrior fans grab at their eyeballs to a bedrock of the franchise? Then again, that’s what becoming a Cavalier will do for a fella.

[RELATED: Jarrett Jack agrees to deal with Cleveland]


Why doesn’t have a constant vote tabulator for its All-Star Final Five contestants? I mean, how else can we judge whether Giant fans can pack ballot boxes faster than the rest of the nation? And how much more amusement can we derive by watching the deluded little hyenas try?


And finally, Murray took out two fellow Brits, Chris Froome, who leads the Tour De France, and Dan Martin of Ireland, who won Stage 9. Oh well, lads, look at it this way – you don’t get on Page 1 for the next week unless you test positive for Mozambique wombat extract, so you’re probably better off enjoying the anonymity. I mean, who wants to be on the cover of the Times of London with the headline “The Testosterone Boy”?