A PSA for our sports media brethren and sistren

A PSA for our sports media brethren and sistren
July 23, 2013, 5:30 pm
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Writers who don't work for MLB cheering Bud Selig and Co. for a half-hearted punishment of Ryan Braun makes no sense. (AP)


DeMarcus Cousins: "I'm loyal to my city. That's one thing I am. I'm loyal. That's the biggest thing. I'm not going to give up on it." (USA TODAY IMAGES)

The reaction to Ryan Braun’s suspension amidst our media brethren and sistren (sampling: he should be burned as a witch) was sufficient for us to take this moment to remind them all of this essential but often-forgotten truth:

YOU DON’T WORK FOR MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL. STOP CHEERING SO DAMNED HARD WHEN IT DOES SOMETHING HALF-HEARTED TO A PLAYER UNLESS YOU SEE TEAMS GIVE BACK SOME OF THE MONEY MLB MADE OFF THE SAME PEOPLE IT IS ABOUT TO PUNISH NOW. RIGHT NOW, MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL IS GETTING REBATES ON MONEY IT ALREADY MADE, WHICH ISN’T THE SAME AS FIXING ANY PROBLEM.

Okay, now back to your intern jobs in Bud Selig’s happiness factory.

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In an unrelated development, Toronto Blue Jays catcher J.P. Arencibia has quit Twitter, saying that he's “praying for the others that hate.” Well, thanks for the kind thoughts, but it’s “who,” not “that,” you . . . you . . . you .219 hitter, you.

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Dana O’Neil and Mike Fish of ESPN did a story you should read, asking the question, “Does Mark Emmert Get It?” Spoiler alert: God, no.

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Dustin Pedroia’s $100 million contract extension takes him through the 2021 season, which proves that if nothing else, grit pays, too. Of course, the galaxy will have the last laugh because the sun is going to go supernova in 2019.

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The Giants visit Barack Obama this coming Monday to celebrate whatever that thing was they did last year, which means Tim Lincecum and Hunter Pence cannot be traded for at least two hours. Though it’ll be funny to hear Brian Sabean interrupt the President’s remarks by shouting from the wings, “NOW JUST WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK I WOULD EVER WANT JOE FREAKING BLANTON, YOU LIZARD?”

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And in a very related development, the flagpole in right field depicting the National League West standings did not have the Dodgers on top of the other four banners despite the fact that the Dodgers are in fact in first place. If this isn’t an oversight, and even if it is, let us just say, “Ladies and gentlemen, the prettiest park in baseball has been relocated to Hooterville.”

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Jason Jones says DeMarcus Cousins has learned to love Sacramento, and we have no reason to think he’s wrong, especially given the love showered upon him by the Kings’ new management team.

That said, odds remain even that he will be the first player to break Vivek Ranadive’s heart. And the first one always hurts the worst.

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Both Art Monk and Darrell Green have told WTOP radio that the Washington Redskins should rethink their nickname. In a related development, their names have been moved to the team’s “Ring Of Eagles, Cowboys and Giants.”

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And finally, today’s episode of “Dreams Of Arnold Rothstein.” Two low-level Nigerian teams trying to win promotion to the nation’s third division of professional football won their final games by scores of 79-0 and 67-0. The Nigerian Football Federation, which had the under, decided the games had the faint whiff of skullduggery and suspended the players, coaches, trainers and referee for life.

Trainers? Yes. I don’t know – maybe they had 1-800-BIOGENESIS business cards. And like baseball, the four team owners, who probably had greater wherewithal than any of the banned figures, were unpunished, meaning that they have learned from baseball’s example. Once again, we successfully export the American Way Of Life.