Ratto: Five reasons we can't have nice things ...

Ratto: Five reasons we can't have nice things ...
June 6, 2011, 4:37 pm
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June 6, 2011RATTO ARCHIVENBA PAGE GIANTS PAGENHL PAGE A'S PAGE Ray Ratto
CSNBayArea.com
Its Finals Week, unless youve already finished, so you have time to consider five more reasons why we cant have nice things:

1. LeBron James is now discovering the true meaning of hate. His team ... OK, Dwyane Wades team, of which he is a member, if you read the internets ... wins to take a 2-1 lead in the NBA Finals. But Wade is getting loved, Chris Bosh, the Larry in this interpretations of the Three Stooges, is getting a lot of like, and James is now being branded as the The SuperDuperStar Who Isnt Doing Enough To Befit His SuperDuperStar status. In other words, The Decision is worse than a bad season. It makes a good season disappear.

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2. The Giants are one injury away from getting back to even for last season, when they were disgustingly healthy all year long. In short, if youre at the ballyard tonight for the series opener against Washington, that garlic you smell wont be for the fries. It will because the players are wearing it around their necks to ward off vampires.

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3. Speaking of which, Brian Sabean has apologized to Scott Cousins, which means we can now let the story die until August 11, when the Giants play in Florida and we can gather as a people to judge whether the apology was heartfelt enough. We dont let stories die. We just give them naps.

4. The As arent bringing up that sweep of the Orioles any more. They are now closer to Minnesota, the team with the games worst record, than they are to Texas, the AL West leader, or Boston, the wild card team. It seems they have this hit-no-pitch, pitch-no-hit thing pretty much down. But maybe a few more days with Doctor Feelgood (the Orioles) can get them back up and, well, sauntering.

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5. Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Final is tonight on Versus, and well explain it this way for you non-hockeyistas out there. Boston wins, or the series is very short and the Vancouver cops have a lot of Cleanup On Aisle Robson Street. But it is Canada, where the cops provide stats after big sporting events on arrests, citations and even pour-outs. Honest to God. Ask Andrea Woo of the Vancouver Sun who Tweeted the numbers from Game 2.

Ray Ratto is a columnist for Comcast SportsNet Bay Area.