Ratto: Ranking the 49ers, Raiders, Warriors

Ratto: Ranking the 49ers, Raiders, Warriors
January 27, 2011, 5:47 pm
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Todays miscellaneous crap comes to you from those notorious Bolshevik screedmongers, the Wall Street Journal and Forbes Magazine, who dabble in sports to make us think theyre on to something that they actually are only occasionally.

First, WSJ, and a piece from Jared Diamond who discovered a statistics company called Thuuz (which like many modern companies was named by slamming your elbow onto the keyboard and calling the result the letterhead for your business). It seems the Thuuzians (they sound nicer as Star Trek villains, dont you think?) have a metric for rating exciting NFL games, and therefore exciting NFL teams.

Their thesis: The more exciting your team, the less likely their chances of reaching the Super Bowl. More on the theory here.

But for those of you too busy on that cancer cure to click and read, well just tell you that the Raiders finished 19th and the 49ers 23rd. Seems to us we should have gotten more playoff bang for these dreary bucks.

I mean, if boring is what youre after (Steelers 29th, Patriots 28th, Bills 24th) for long-term staying power, how is it that the 49ers didnt make a much bigger splash?

Oh, sorry. Forgot, Mike Singletarys fault.

But the 49ers just hired the exciting and dynamic and charismatic Jim Harbaugh to jazz up the team and make it more excit ... oh, damn. Theyve screwed up again.

The Raiders at 19 are a different kettle of corn, of course, because they create their excitement when Al Davis does his one-man shows.

Seven teams in the upper half of the excite-o-meter made the playoffs, five below it. The three teams adjudged more boring than the Steelers were Arizona, Seattle and Carolina. We suspect this little tool isnt actually all that helpful, then.

Still, Paraag Marathe, the math guy, ought to get on this. Harbaugh may want to install the Wing-T this year -- just in case.

The other news comes from Forbes, which just valued the 30 NBA teams and declared the Warriors the 12th most valuable property, just ahead of the Pistons and right behind the Magic. For the full list, click this link.

That said, the Warriors were valued at 363 million, or 87 million less than Joe Lacob and Showbiz Petey Guber paid for it. Now even if Forbes valuations are off a decimal point here or there, thats still a heap of overpaying, and the result of overpaying is too much worry about the bottom line on the other end.

That doesnt sound like a lot of fun over at Lacob Heights. Then again, neither did the games against the Spurs and Hornets, and hell be coming back for more anyway. This may just be a labor of love for Lacob after all.

Either that, or hes nuts. Or he wants to give his son Kyle fulltime employment running the basketball end in a few years. Or he loves basketball. Or hes all those things, and nuts too.

This is the third time the Warriors sold for much more than their blue book value (Chris Cohan before that, and Jim Fitzgerald and Dan Finnane before that), and every time the old owners got their money out and then some. The power of making a high attendance figure look like proof of a good operations, wins and losses be damned.

But if Lacob is planning to turn this baby around for the profit any time soon, hes really going to have to find someone with real money to burn and a need to own an NBA franch . . .

Hey! We all know a guy who fits that descrip . . . oh, never mind. Its Larry Ellison. Yeah, I knew this would end badly. After all, its the Warriors. But at least nobody rolled an ankle this time.

Ray Ratto is a columnist for Comcast SportsNet Bay Area.