Sept. 9, 2011
49ERS PAGE 49ERS VIDEO
Follow @RattoCSNRay Ratto
CSNBayArea.comWe do a lot of challenges and contests around here as part of our pledge to be so interactive with our audience that it makes us all hurl.Well, heres mine. See if you can shut up about Alex Smith for as long as possible.Set it up as a kind of game of Charades, or as a drinking game, or make physical threats a part of it. We dont care. As long as you dont invoke the name.
See, heres the deal. You dont have anything new to say about Alex Smith. We know this because weve been at it for seven years and we dont have anything new to say about Alex Smith. There isnt anything new for anyone to say about Alex Smith because theres nothing new about Alex Smith.And dont give us the But hes the quarterback and the quarterback is the most important position on earth and the 49er quarterback is an exalted position in the galaxy and . . . argument. Its lazy thinking. Shut up about all of it. Youve used that excuse long enough. Youre done. Were all done.Let us lay it out for you to help you with it.1. Alex Smith cannot help the 49ers get better.
2. The 49ers cannot help Alex Smith get better.
3. Alex Smith isnt a longterm solution for them and theyre not a longterm solution for him.
4. Your continued whining, bitching, carping and sniveling about him is pointless, time-wasting and boring.
5. Your friends will hate you if you keep invoking his name, to the point where they will either force you into rehab, an intervention, or just skip to Step Three and beat the hell out of you.In other words, were doing this for you.Do you want to be the girl who bores her friends? Do you want to be the guy who gets his hinder kicked by his friends? Do you want to be known as a bore with only one subject on his mind?If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then you should give your car keys to a more responsible adult, and go to your room until the answer is no.Because the answer has to be no. Smith was badly served the day he was drafted by the wrong team for the wrong reason to do the wrong job. It isnt his fault he wasnt Aaron Rodgers, and that some team with every reason to prefer Aaron Rodgers thought he was better than Aaron Rodgers because he dressed better and talked better and practiced better than Aaron Rodgers.You dont go on and on about Mike Nolan for making that call, do you? No. You say Alex Smith over and over again to the point where his names blur together into one -- Alexsmith. And if saying his name is in your mind sufficient, and it is, then youve talked too long on the subject.And you have, because everyone has, and its time to move to another name. Jim Harbaugh, Jed York, Patrick Willis, Michael Crabtree, it doesnt matter. Just so it isnt Alex Freaking Smith any more.So thats your challenge, completely unsanctioned by ComcastNBC Intergalactic Headquarters or any of its subsidiaries. Stop saying the name, stop making salient points about him that you think are unique but really arent, and stop saying the name Colin Kaepernick like its the secret antidote.And dont say Scott Tolzein at all.But if your interest skill set is that bankrupt and you cant manage the silence, at least stop blaming him for the mess around him unless you blame the mess around him for him.And then shut up about him. And that goes for all of us. Because if we can all agree to do this one thing, we all win in the end, whether the 49ers do or not. You may not win a luxurious ComcastNBC Intergalactic Headquarters prize package, but you will avoid a beating that you will richly deserve, and isn't that better than a ball cap?Ray Ratto is a columnist for CSNBayArea.com