The Scarlet Blights of Rutgers

The Scarlet Blights of Rutgers
May 26, 2013, 11:45 pm
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It's much better to be a Scarlet Knights cheerleader than Rutgers athlete or administrator these days. (USA TODAY IMAGES)

Due to some dogged work by the Newark Star-Ledger and Rutgers University’s monumental stupidity, the school’s new athletic director, Julie Hermann, is up to her neck in bad P.R. and, perhaps, resume cleansing. Seems Hermann, who replaced Tim Pernetti, who tried to softshoe basketball coach Mike Rice’s now-legendary player abuse, has some of that herself while coaching the Tennessee women’s volleyball team, including (and you’ll love this) discouraging an assistant coach from having a baby after being a bridesmaid at her wedding and even catching the bouquet.

Of course, Hermann denied it all, but the Star Ledger had the wedding video, and copious quotes from players, plus a letter to the then-Tennessee athletic director, all attesting to her Rice-like verbal motivational schemes (you know, fun stuff like calling players whores, alcoholics and learning disabled).

In sum, Rutgers has managed not only to take another knee to the nethers and make its public relations department wish it was working for the IRS instead, but also shows that its vetting process for important employees could be matched by an inquisitive turnip.

Go Scarlet Blights. You’ve advanced background checks 20 years by showing what happens when your technique begins and ends with, “So let’s take a vote and then get to lunch.”

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It was a big weekend for athletes who had failed to succeed on the big stage, sometimes spectacularly, to get theirs back and then some. And then cry.

Arjen Robben of Bayern Munich, who is known as a fine but decidedly one-legged player who clutched up in the biggest moments, was the dominant figure in Bayern’s 2-1 win over Borussia Dortmund in the Champions League final, and Tony Kanaan, who had finished second once and third twice at the Indianapolis 500, finally won it Sunday.

Both were overcome with emotion at the size of their redemptions, providing touching moments to television audiences around the world and showing that men and crying don’t need to be mutually exclusive.

Meanwhile, John Tortorella and the New York Rangers were eliminated from the playoffs by Boston on Saturday, and he was just mostly pissed. So there’s that method, too.

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Speaking of the Champions League, American soccer fans enjoyed and then lamented a sensational off-the-line save by Dortmund defender Neven Subotic, whose parents were born in Serbia but who spent much of his youth living in Salt Lake City, and has chosen to play for the Serbian rather than the U.S. National Team.

Well, be fair. Subotic said he chose Serbia because it is the land of his parents’ birth, and it’s hard to argue with that. Then again, this may just be an indictment of Salt Lake City of which we are currently unaware.

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And now, let’s check the standings. Houston and Miami, the twin entrants in the Can We Challenge the 1962 Mets Sweepstakes, have both hit the 50-game mark and have amassed an aggregate record of 27-73, with the worst offense in baseball in one case (Miami) and the worst pitching in baseball in the other (Houston). But the hideous expansion Mets of 1962 remain safe for the time being; for either the Fish or the ‘Stros to be in the discussion, they needed to be 12-38 each at this stage.

But at least they’re both having better seasons then whomever got assigned to sell the snow cones at Minute Maid Park. You have to know those poor folks not doing any business whatsoever.

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And finally, Dwight Howard to the Warriors makes as much sense as Dwight Howard to the Canadian Olympic curling team, so don’t bring it up again. Unless, of course, you’re Joe Lacob, in which case a cheery, “Are you nuts?” will just have to suffice.