SAN FRANCISCO -- The Giants clubhouse is starting to resemble an armory from antiquity.
Michael Morse began the collection when a black Spartan helmet with a flowing, black plume appeared in his locker. Then Hunter Pence matched Morse’s “300” headgear with a shiny Maximus helmet from “Gladiator.”
All of the sudden, Sergio Romo owns a skull helmet fit for a feudal Dia De Los Muertos. Brandon Hicks has a Viking-styled chunk of steel with shiny metal horns. And in Jeremy Affeldt's locker: a bucket-shaped great helm complete with an eye slit.
“That one’s called 'The Crusader,'” Morse said. “We thought that would be a good fit for him.”
Okay, sure. But it also looks exactly like the helmet worn by the “It’s only a flesh wound” knight in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.”
“Oh, oh,” Morse said. “I like that better.”
It’s a clubhouse secret what the Giants actually do with their helmets, but I can tell you they incorporate them in some kind of postgame celebration after victories. It’s a pretty safe guess that Manager Bruce Bochy doesn’t get involved, though. It would take all the Vaseline in the world to pry one of those helmets off his 8 1/8-inch dome.
Morse said more helmets are on order. Tim Lincecum is getting the mask and lion head worn by Tigris of Gaul in “Gladiator.” And Morse is trying to find something classic and suitable for Tim Hudson, befitting his nature as the staff veteran. A conquistador's morion, perhaps?
Maybe Matt Cain can wear a gauntlet the next time he makes a sandwich. Buster Posey can replace his shinguards with greaves.
And if Giants scout Pat Burrell gets in on the act, he might choose something from the “Eyes Wide Shut” collection -- if he doesn’t own one of them already.