Looming Cousins-Kings 'Boogiedom' deal makes perfectly mutated sense

Looming Cousins-Kings 'Boogiedom' deal makes perfectly mutated sense

DeMarcus Cousins, whose last big performance with the Sacramento Kings was punching out a defenseless chair, has apparently won the increased admiration of owner Vivek Ranadive and is about to become the signatory to a new mega-max contract that will pay him $207 million by the end of the 2022-23 season.

It is not yet known if the chair contemplates a civil suit given Cousins’ newfound riches.

But the new deal marks the evident cementing of one the National Basketball Association’s most bizarre fun-couple relationships. The Kings have frustrated the hell out of Cousins for years, and Cousins has frustrated the Kings for years, so why not do a deal that allows them to irritate each other for another six years?

There’s no reason at all. None whatsoever.

It is acknowledged by most people within the NBA diaspora that Cousins is the most gifted post man in the league. It is also acknowledged that he is six feet and 11 inches of exposed nerve endings, thereby making him must-see TV for any number of reasons.

So maybe Ranadive sees Cousins as the fulcrum for the next great reality show – “Life With And Without Boogie” seems like the logical counterprogramming to “The Bachelor,” which at some point must die the hideous death it deserves.

But we digress.

However you view Cousins, he is the quintessential King. Indeed, he is the quintessential Ranadive King – well-meaning, hard-working but almost cartoonishly volatile to the point of nightly meme-hood.

And if you can’t win (which the Kings can’t, at least not in the foreseeable future), you may as well meme.

The Kings have been the NBA’s longest enduring sitcom since taking over for the Donald Sterling Clippers in 2014, and alternating with the Clips before that. They have tested the patience of their fans so many times in so many ways that they are best suited to understand and roll with Cousins’ many walks into the woods.

So yes, this deal will make perfectly mutated sense to them. The money is absurd, the length is nerve-wracking, and it makes him all that much harder to move if either he or they weary of each other, but it screams Boogiedom. In fact, make that sentence read, “And as a result of all those things, it screams Boogiedom.”

Besides, and this is a question for those few poeple who are not diehard Kings fans, would you care about the Kings at all if not for Cousins?

Let me help you with that a bit. No. You wouldn’t.

Thus, he is worth every one of Ranadive’s dimes he can collect, all two-billion of them. May he never be traded, and may he never ask for a trade. And even if they try, and even if he does ask, may it never happen. This is a marriage made in the Bizarro World, and when he retires, the Kings must retire him in their rafters at the Golden 1.

Not his number. Him. In the flesh. Sacramento fans would totally get it.

Young Kings' inexperience rears ugly head in loss to Jazz

Young Kings' inexperience rears ugly head in loss to Jazz

SACRAMENTO -- The Sacramento Kings showed their age Wednesday night at Golden 1 Center. They couldn’t buy a basket early. They could do no wrong in the second and third quarters. And when the chips were down, they couldn’t stop a charging Utah Jazz team from pulling away for the 112-82 blowout.

Utah led by as many as 20 in the first quarter and it looked like it was going to be a long night. The Kings shot just 31.6 percent in the game’s first 12 minutes and they allowed the Jazz to knock down 5-of-11 3-pointers early.

“We started off slow and in a hole and tried to come back,” Willie Cauley-Stein said.

The Jazz pushed the lead to 24 in the opening minutes of the second quarter and then Ben McLemore happened. The fourth-year guard went off for 17 points on 7-of-8 shooting in the second as the Kings cut Utah’s lead to just seven at the intermission.

“It’s nice to see him back in there and getting rhythm and feeling good about himself,” Dave Joerger said of McLemore. “He is able at his size to get off of people that are holding. With his athleticism, he can be an effective cutter and he can be an effective pin down player.”

The 24-year-old wing finished the night with 22 points on 9-of-12 shooting, but he was one of just three Kings players to notch double-figure scoring as the ball movement dried up for long stretches.

Utah made adjustments in the second half to slow McLemore and the Kings did a poor job of responding. They over dribbled the ball, leading to just 14 assists on the night.

The Jazz on the other hand looked like a finely oiled machine. With big man Rudy Gobert anchoring the post, they made cuts at the rim and found open shooters all around the perimeter.  

“They hit shots, a lot of shots, a lot of threes,” Willie Cauley-Stein said. “That breaks the game wide open when you’re hitting threes and a lot of stuff is going in.”

Sharpshooter Rodney Hood dropped in 5-of-5 from long range, scoring 18 points in just 24 minutes of play. Gordon Hayward knocked down 3-of-5 from deep for a team-high 20 points. Overall, Utah outscored the Kings 39-6 from 3-point range.

Despite the rough start and the barrage of 3-point makes by the Jazz, Sacramento cut Utah’s lead to just two midway through the third quarter. And then the playoff bound Jazz dropped a 52-24 run on Sacramento to finish the night off.

Joerger allowed his core of young players plenty of time on the floor. Skal Labissiere played a team-high 33 minutes in the loss, coming away with nine points and seven rebounds.  

“I’m definitely learning a lot,” Labissiere said. “It’s the best way to learn to be out there against guys like that. Whenever I’m out there, I’m always learning something. I just try to give my best.”

Rookie Georgios Papagiannis added eight points and three rebounds in 20 minutes and Buddy Hield struggled for one of the few times in a Kings uniform, scoring just two points on 1-for-7 shooting.

It’s a process. With the playoff chatter over and done with, the Kings are bound to have a few more night’s like this in the final seven games of the season as they transition to a full youth movement.


Instant Replay: Kings fight back, but succumb to Jazz

Instant Replay: Kings fight back, but succumb to Jazz


SACRAMENTO -- After winning two straight, the Sacramento Kings came out flat and the Utah Jazz made them pay. The Jazz quieted the crowd early, pushing their lead to 24 points in the second quarter, but the Kings bounced back to make it a game. In the end, Utah had too much firepower, coming away with the 112-82 victory.

All-Star Gordon Hayward used his height advantage at the wing to punish the Kings. Hayward scored 20 points on 8-for-14 shooting and added seven rebounds in the win.

Rudy Gobert pounded the Kings in the paint, finishing the night with 16 points and 15 rebounds.  

Rodney Hood knocked down 5-for-5 from behind the arc on his way to 17 points. Shelvin Mack shot 5-of-8 from the field for 14 points and Joe Ingles finished with 12 points and five assists off Quin Snyder’s bench.

There is no quit in Ben McLemore. The fourth-year guard has an uncertain in Sacramento after this season, so he made sure to put on a show for anyone who might be interested in his services. McLemore dropped in 17 of his 22 points in a wild first half run that got Sacramento back into the game.

Darren Collison was one of the few Kings to find success early as the Jazz built their big lead. The veteran point  guard finished the night with 12 points and one assist.

Willie Cauley-Stein didn’t back down from Gobert. The second-year 7-footer managed to score seven points and grab a team-high eight rebounds in the loss.

Ty Lawson came off Dave Joerger’s bench to score 11 points and dish out three assists. Skal Labissiere shook of a slow start to score nine points and grab seven rebounds, while rookie Georgios Papagiannis chipped in eight points.

McLemore caught fire. He singlehandedly stopped the Kings from getting blown out in the first half with his 7-of-8 shooting performance before the intermission.

Sacramento managed to make it a game in the third quarter, clawing all the way back to within one point. The Jazz responded to take a 78-67 lead into the fourth and then put the Kings away.

Garrett Temple and Kosta Koufos sat for scheduled rest. Arron Afflalo missed the game due to a personal matter. Rookie Malachi Richardson is officially out for the season with a right hamstring thickness tear. Rudy Gay is out for the year with a torn left Achilles.

The Kings travel to New Orleans where they’ll face DeMarcus Cousins and the New Orleans Pelicans on Friday evening. They’ll fly to Minnesota following the game to play the Timberwolves as part of a back-to-back.