Nothing is ever quite as amusing as watching the mention of a coachs name create unregulated hyperactivity in adults especially when that is a name that doesnt ring many bells.Yet Fresno State football coach Tim DeRuyter and coachless California are being linked together, and . . . well, let hilarity ensue.The DeRuyter rumors, which are barely hours old and have a faint whiff of Internet hoax to them, are based on his one year at Fresno State, which is a bowl invitation away from being concluded. The Bulldogs went 9-3, and though one year is not usually enough to get your name on the rumor tilt-a-whirl, such are the times that anyone who has lost fewer than six games (including broadcasters, all of whom are undefeated this season) is in play for any vacancy.Plus, the rumors began on Twitter, the 21st century fertilizer for fertilizer.Of course, most rumors that pan out also start on Twitter. So there you go. DeRuyter is the favorite to replace Jeff Tedford, and has no chance to replace Jeff Tedford, all at the same time. Beauty.Other rumors have suggested that former Raider coach Hue Jackson is a player in the talks, and one would not be surprised to learn that conversations either have or will be initiated between himhis people and Cal AD Sandy Barbourher people. Conversations, of course, being the MiracleGro of coaching rumors.But there are at least two things at work here that mitigate against either DeRuyter or Jackson.One, Barbour is using a search committee, and search committees tend to slow rather than speed a process. It has been only 10 days since Tedford was decoupled, and Barbour needs to hit not just a home run here, but a three-run homer, and do it without a ton of money.In other words, creativity matters, and creativity also mitigates against speed.And two, it is widely believed by those who are conversant with the corridors of the Cal money train that there are still hopes of convincing Boise States Chris Petersen to overcome the burden of his friendship with Tedford to consider the job.Petersen would be the big-name hire that would galvanize wallets, and Cals monumental financial problems require full billfold participation from all available alumnoids. DeRuyter would not be that hire, and neither would Jackson, for that matter.In short, the coachs chair remains mostly cold upholstery for the foreseeable future, no matter how many space heaters Twitter tries to fire up.Besides, I still hold out hope for Bobby Petrino to get the job, just to see an entire university pull off its own head.