Raiders fans harmlessly, tastelessly tease Te'o

Raiders fans harmlessly, tastelessly tease Te'o
October 6, 2013, 5:45 pm
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Lennay Kekua's 'death' will not be forgotten, thanks to this thoughtful Raiders fan. (USATSI)


How will 49ers fans react if this man leads the Chiefs to the Super Bowl? (USATSI)

The 'RIP Lennay Kekua' sign in Oakland Sunday night for San Diego linebacker Manti Te’o was a nice, tasteless touch – good, harmless fun from a fan base long tarred with the shame of never being harmless.

On the other hand, anyone at Chargers-Raiders who complains about the A’s ruining the pristine Coliseum greensward after what Sonny Gray and Stephen Vogt did for it still kind of sucks.

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I’m not really the golfing demographic, so with that as insulation from abuse, I feel comfortable saying that it would be easier caring about the President’s Cup if there were hungry bears in the woods surrounding every hole and ready to spring upon unsuspecting golfers.

[RELATED: Woods clinches fifth straight Presidents Cup win for US]

Although after the first one or two victims, the golfers probably wouldn’t be so unsuspecting any more, now would they?

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Tampa Bay pitcher David Price ripped the TBS broadcast crew of the Red Sox-Rays series as “nerds,” which almost makes you wish the Rays could rally and face Oakland in the AL Championship Series. Just watching Billy Beane turn it into a 35-minute stem-winder on the nerd as the next great undervalued commodity would be worth it:

“We’re also seeing some market inequities with geeks, weirdos, chronic mutterers and candyasses,” Beane would say. “And we’ve been heavily scouting doofuses, or is it ‘doofii?’ And also Sunderland fans.”

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As we check the HystericalOveereact.com NFL scoreboard, we see that the Saints are the new lock to go to the Super Bowl against both Denver and Kansas City. In which case, Alexander David Smith yourselves to death.

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Oh, and Peyton Manning’s first rushing touchdown in five years is not the same as replicating cold fusion, so calm the hell down. If he had moonwalked into the end zone, walked into the end zone on his hands, or took a one-knee slide into the end zone and started singing “The Michigan Rag,” then you’d have something. This was a touchdown, scored against an NFC East team (31 points per game allowed), and as such should only be worth four points, no matter how surprised you might be.

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And one more thing: It really isn’t Tony Romo you hate. It really isn’t. It’s everything television makes you watch when he does well that you hate. And you are right to do so.

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To the person who created the nickname “Teenage Mutant Ninja Hertl” for the San Jose Sharks’ 19-year-old phenom-in-training, well done, and good on your father. For everyone else who uses it, shut up. And continue to do so until you can make one better.

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I only wish David Pollack had decried the inclusion of women in the college football playoff selection committee 10 years ago – when Condoleezza Rice could call in air strikes as part of her job.

Besides, being on an NCAA selection committee doesn’t require any specific internal arrangement, or even football knowledge. All it needs is someone who knows where the most money in any proposition can be found, seized and held, and women are every bit as good at that as men. Hell, you could give Kathleen Madigan a bottle of scotch, a case of smokes and a free three-day hotel suite, and she’d give you a playoff America could be proud of.

She would also provide a new BFF for Rice, who needs to break out of that protective Stanford cocoon every once in a while and see how the fun people live.

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And finally, who knew that Pittsburgh’s rabid baseball fan base is mostly cicadas – coming out every couple of decades or so and making life unbearable for those who walk among them?