Ranking the Stanley Cup playoff series

Ranking the Stanley Cup playoff series
April 11, 2012, 9:01 pm
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We hate to break it to you this way, but its better if you hear from someone you . . . well, dont like very much.

The Sharks-Blues series is not considered a potential classic of the genre. In fact, the word ugly gets bandied about a lot.

As in, This series is going to be as ugly as the regular season series. Not the results, necessarily, although seven-seeds traditionally have difficult times handling twos.

But the games? They wont be a lot of fun. Theyll be short on scoring chances, skating room or traditional up-tempo give-and-take.

In short, you cant say you havent been warned. But if it helps at all, even if your ardor for the local Selachimorpha does not allow you to believe your favorite team can play ugly hockey, the rest of the series arent that much better.

In fact, lets rank them in order of fun per minute:

NASHVILLE-DETROIT
The Wings are always elegant viewing, if only because Pavel Datsyuk may very well be the most underrated great player ever. But having Henrik Zetterberg, Nicklas Lidstrom, Valteri Filppula and a well-established style of play makes the Wings good entertainment. Against that, Nashville brings two extraordinary defensemen in Ryan Suter and Shea Weber, the best goalie in the game in Pekka Rinne, and the resurgent if mercenary Alexander Radulov. The series with the best chance of going seven games, too.

NEW YORK RANGERS-OTTAWA
One-eight matches dont often stand up well, but Ottawa gives the Rangers more than enough trouble and Henrik Lundqvist is believed to be nursing a nagging injury. John Tortorella never met an argument he couldnt make louder or more profane, and Ottawa hockey fans are plain nuts.

PITTSBURGH-PHILADELPHIA
Most folks would rank this higher, maybe even first, but the Penguins when fully healthy are a dramatically better team. Plus, Flyer goalie Ilya Bryzgalov is due for one of his everyones-paying-attention-to-me walkabouts. This will be an aggressively played but brief series.

VANCOUVER-LOS ANGELES
If Jonathan Quick is brilliant, the Canucks can get as tight-windpiped as any team, and in that town, a tight windpipe is a sign to make it tighter. Plus, there are many amusements to be found in watching coaches Darryl Sutter and Alain Vigneault screwing with each others heads.

BOSTON-WASHINGTON
This is only good if Alexander Ovechkin can become the happy-time Fizzies party he used to be. The Bruins finished strong, goaliepolitical naf Tim Thomas is playing close to his playoff level of a year ago, and the Bruins are defending champions. But the Caps have been mediocre to frustrating even after the coaching change to Dale Hunter, so getting your hopes up here seems counterproductive.

PHOENIX-CHICAGO
The Blackhawks get Jonathan Toews back, and their goaltending problems will make the Coyotes seem less offensively-challenged. It could be a sleeper series for entertainment. It could also stink to high heaven if the Hawks give in to Phoenix penchant for grinding the game into dust.

ST. LOUIS-SAN JOSE
Logan CoutureJoe PavelskiJoe Thornton and David BackesPatrick BerglundAlex Steen had better be lots of fun, if only to negate the Ken Hitchcock way of doing things. Thats all were saying.

FLORIDA-NEW JERSEY
Oh God.

You are of course entitled to judge the series in any order you wish. Its just that this is the correct one until more data presents itself.

Ray Ratto is a columnist for CSNBayArea.com