Turkey … with a side of Harbaugh

Maybe Im just beating the rush here, but Im giving serious thought to being sick to death of the Harbaugh Family Thanksgiving.

After all, were going to be bludgeoned with the tales of Jack and Jackie and John and Joani and Jim and Jurgen and Javier and Jeep and Jehosophat and all the other free-floating Js in the house all this week. Well be up to our eyelids in Harbaughs to the point where we may start thinking of them as Middle Americas response to the Kardashians and their K fetish.

And frankly, who deserves that kind of association?

But you know how this plays -- the NFL saw the 49ers-Ravens matchup as the obvious Thanksgiving night topper since the day before the first Harbaugh-to-San Francisco rumors began. The rest of the schedule might still have been on cocktail napkins and stickem notes but this one was chiseled in marble the day Harbaugh joined his brother John on the pay-and-play circuit.

RELATED: The Harbaughs ... in their own words

After all, the NFLs last accidental anything was 1957. Its what makes it NFL. They see everything coming a mile away, and plan accordingly.

But theres one other thing that makes the NFL the NFL -- its ability to hammer the same point again and again on multiple platforms until you are begging for the sweet release of a sugar coma. And thats where being sick of the Harbaughs comes in.

Jack Harbaugh is a happy sort, cooperative and genial nearly to a fault, so he would never say no to anything. But you almost wish he would have put his foot down here and said, Sorry there, Cecil B., but the holidays belong to us. Not because we wouldnt mind a few shots from the dining room, but because we never get a few of anything from the NFL.

No, what were going to get is a bombardment of Harbaugh-iana from so many sources and so many directions that by Wednesday well answer the question Whos Got It Better Than Us? with Anyone Whose Television Just Went Out.

This would have been different years ago, before the right of privacy was altered to read except when bucks can be made by some source somewhere. A nice benign story of a coaching family told well by a few folks here and there -- its perfect holiday fodder.

But were going to get mauled with the Harbaughs, and we will go bed each night with a vision of Jackie, her hand clutching stuffing and halfway inside the turkey screaming into a lens, Can I get five minutes of peace here? Just five stinking minutes?

See, this isnt about the Harbaughs at all, but about the vast disparity in numbers between them and us. Every media outlet from Cranberry Quarterly to Al Jazeera will want its piece of the action, and some will want cameras secreted in the pumpkin pie or the spout of the gravy boat. Well get all the Harbaughs we can stand, and when we are saturated with something, we as a nation tend to get angry.

And we dont need that on a holiday, and the Harbaughs are nice people and dont deserve it period.

Frankly, Im kind of hoping that someone discovers the hidden family slogan, the one that isnt Whos Got It Better Than Us? Maybe one like, Tough crap, rub some dirt on it and get back in there, or Touch that last piece of chicken and theyll be calling you Lefty, or Will you shut up about football for five minutes here? Just five minutes?

But we wont get that. The Harbaughs have lived most of their adult lives with the public eye pressed against the window. Sure, the eyes on jack werent that numerous, but John and Jim are pretty much Wally and The Beaver, or Harold and Kumar. If there are things about them we dont know, they are at the bottom of the Interpol files as international spies for the North Koreans.

Now that would be another Thanksgiving tale we could warm to -- at least it would be a surprise from the well-scripted fare we will be forced to endure here.

But what we will get instead is the formulized version of the family, 244. Come Friday morning, well have moved on to, Why did John punt on that fourth-and-one? or When will Jim take the restrictor plates off the offense? or the universal What does this do to their chances of getting Andrew Luck in the draft?

And well be sick of it, and them, well before that. Too bad. They seemed like such nice people too.

But you know what they say: Whos Got It Better Than Us? And you know what they say after.

OK, good, but lets try it one more time with a little oomph in that baritone, Jack, and can we get the wine bottle out of the dogs mouth please -- OK, Harbaugh Family Slogan, Take 63. Sound . . . Speed . . .Camera . . . and Cue!

Ray Ratto is a columnist for CSNBayArea.com.