Brooks blows chance to make Goodell, NFL pay fine

Brooks blows chance to make Goodell, NFL pay fine
November 21, 2013, 4:45 pm
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The irony of an ESPN expense report (and in turn Roger Goodell and the NFL) covering Ahmad Brooks' fine was lost on the 49ers' linebacker, as he turned down charitable donations. (USATSI)

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A note must accompany this Daily Mail Story about Doria Tillier, one of the weatheroids on Canal Plus in France, who ran naked on a bet after France beat the odds and reached the World Cup finals in Brazil. And that note this this:

TO ALL LOCAL WEATHERHUMANS: DO NOT DO THIS, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, BECAUSE WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN WITH ARROWS, SPEARS AND THROWING STARS IF YOU DO.

And yes, you cowardly swine, it is “safe for work.”

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With Peter Gammons comparing (and then apologizing for comparing) Alex Rodriguez to the Tsarnaevs (the Marathon Bombers), the level of nausea the rest of us have reached in the fight over the rest of the money promised him by George Steinbrenner (and that his sons don’t want to pay him) has now reached full-tilt boogie.

That said, we are still engaged in the story because we are sure both sides still have many levels of degradation to achieve – which is the only reason to care about any of these slugs. So fight on, boys (and, if there are any, girls). You never know when your dignity break will end.

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Ahmad Brooks’ continued disavowal of Ray Lewis’ promised contribution to his $15,750 fine from the NFL for being an anachronism (wanting to play a form of football that is now outlawed) is disappointing. Brooks said, ”I mean, why should I? I’m all right, man. I’m OK.”

That isn’t the point, though. Lewis will probably put the fine on his expense account (or at least we can hope), ESPN will in turn make that money from its next NFL telecast (maybe by sliding through catering or production costs), and with a couple of more turns of the screw, it will end up that the NFL fined itself for Brooks’ hit on Drew Brees.

And who doesn’t want that cheap little slice of irony to be part of the Goodellian legacy?

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And now, your High School Sports Builds Character update, from Marion County, Tennessee. A head football coach and several assistants . . . well, broke every rule of both competition, common sense, property and, well, did enough things to lower people’s resistance to beating them with bags of chisels. Read, and enjoy.

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The postseason shares were announced Thursday, and the A’s split up their money thusly: $654.67 per strikeout per player.

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And while we’re at it, lots of folks led into their own reports on the postseason splits with the preamble, “Fun With Numbers.”

Well, no there isn’t.

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Anna Benson told these things to Dr. Phil (found on YouTube) for his show this coming Wednesday:

• “I’m the most famous wife in sports history since Marilyn Monroe.”

• “I was actually laying on the bed, thinking we were going to have sex.”

• “Because I’m a badass bitch.”

• “I know a lot about defense, I can handle a weapon, and if you want to take me out you better be on your damn game, perched up on a mountain with a really long rifle.”

I’d like three full helpings of Option 4, please.

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And finally, let’s close on a sexy weather note. Yahoo’s Harrison Mooney, who may have issues, reports as part of his Grey Cup coverage that The Love Plus sex shop on Broad Street in Regina, Saskatchewan, has fully bought into the fact that the game is being played in town and features the Roughriders (no jokes, please) against Hamilton. It has dressed all its window mannequins in green (team colors) lingerie, and added a Roughriders hat on the plasticene trollop to finish your most shameful fantasies just right.

Mooney apparently did not go inside the store to see what other Roughrider-themed fun could be bought, so we’ll just leave it at this: The line has gone from Riders 5 to Riders 6 ½, and the total is 53, or 48 more than Friday’s temperatures in town. In other words, scanty/borderline nonexistent outfits may not be the right call on Game Day.