Dolphins-Gone-Wild saga unnatural selection at its worst

Harbaugh: 'I support Jonathan' Martin

Dolphins-Gone-Wild saga unnatural selection at its worst
November 7, 2013, 8:00 pm
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In short, the NFL loves to trumpet its links to Darwinism, but this was unnatural selection at its worst.
Ray Ratto

This is the moment where a truly skilled provocateur screams out, “DAVID SHAW IS RUMORED TO BE IN THE RUNNING FOR THE MIAMI DOLPHINS COACHING JOB IN 2014!”

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In the meantime, the Dolphins-Gone-Wild story is that Jonathan Martin couldn’t fit in to the football culture, and had to be weeded out, only Richie Incognito used a backhoe to do it instead of a trowel. A former Dolphin, Lydon Murtha, tells The MMQB just such a version of the relationship between Martin and Incognito, and as Murtha is now out of the game, he has less of an evident axe to grind, therefore giving his version somewhat more gravitas. It should be read.

There remains, though, the notion that the NFL is allowed to have its own culture without regard for potential legal violations, and that the greater crime is always portrayed as the one committed by the whistleblower. Clearly, nobody on the Dolphins intervened when Incognito ratcheted up the pressure beyond Martin’s endurance, leaving Martin no way to keep his issues in house. The Dolphins’ collective decision to strand him instead of help him constructively is part of the problem here, as is the coaches’ decision to farm the problem out instead of getting more materially involved.

In short, the NFL loves to trumpet its links to Darwinism, but this was unnatural selection at its worst, and it lasted a year and a half. A subtle solution was never considered after the frontal ones failed. That remains the team’s shame.

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Oh, and former Dallas great Tony Dorsett has tested positive for the tau protein that is linked to CTE.

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Oh, and Mike Goodson, the New York Jets running back already out for the year with a knee injury, has been arrested on weapons and driving impaired charges.

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Oh, and Miami is still playing Tampa on Monday night. It is now officially acceptable for Roger Goodell to dress up as Queen Elizabeth and speak to a disinterested nation of his “annus horribilis.”

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Oh, and Carl Pelini is retracting his resignation as Florida Atlantic coach. According to Dieter Kurtenbach of the Sun Sentinel in Fort Lauderdale, Pelini alleges that he denied using illegal drugs three times and offered to take a drug test (athletic director Pat Chun said after Pelini resigned Wednesday that the coach admitted to using what he called “illegal drugs”). He also claims that Chun did not force him to resign for drug use, but rather it was “based on a failure to supervise my staff,” that he denied Pelini’s requests for legal council and did not follow the dispute resolution procedures required by Pelini’s contract with FAU.

That has nothing to do with Goodell, of course, but what the hell?

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And now, election news that has nothing to do with Joe Lacob strangling Ed Lee in a City Hall ceremony. David Ortiz received the most write-in votes (560) in Boston's mayoral election. It may not be as impressive as Buffalo linebacker Kiko Alonso’s name being written in for every elected office on one Buffalonian’s ballot, but 560 votes for Ortiz means . . . well, a pretty damned low turnout in Boston.

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Lance Armstrong said in an interview with cyclingnews.com that he was treated unfairly by the United States Anti-Doping Agency when he received a lifetime ban for doping.

"The playing field, those who were on the field would agree it was level. Justice as we've seen in the last 12 months hasn't been level," he said while making a Hello Kitty face and a low whimpering noise. “I'm not whining or complaining (yes he is), I'm just observing. I'm the one who is serving life and others who made the same choices get a complete pass.”

In response, the world said, “Oh, shut your flapping piehole, you cloth-eared git.”

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The NCAA has reinstated Colgate basketball player Nathan Harries after a prolonged investigation (which was mostly one day of media people expressing outrage that he would be lose a year of eligibility in the first place) that showed that he did not actually gain a competitive advantage by playing three games on a church league team in which most of the players were in their 30s and as out of shape as most 30-something typically are.

Of course, seven Division 1 schools had already scheduled some of the teams in those church leagues to build up their records, so maybe the NCAA isn’t entirely off-base here.

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And finally, since we’ve been going on about patriotic uniforms this week, a valid soccer note just to make the boss bite one of the interns on the top of the head: Brazilian third division side slapped the face of Che Guevara, the long-dead Cuban Communist revolutionary, on their jerseys. And, as you might guess, they have enjoyed record sales as a result. Seems Che visited the team 50 years ago on a tour of Cuba, and holds a special place in their history as a result.

But the original plan was just to have the team’s seven-a-side team wear them when demand took over and the team went from selling 10 jerseys a month to 3,000. In other words, Che’s ghost is depressed to learn that between this and the energy drink named after him, he is getting ass-whipped by capitalism deep into the afterlife.