Because football players have not, do not, never will, and choose not to be bothered with getting it, this exchange between Chicago’s Brandon Marshall and Washington’s Brandon Meriweather, before Meriweather’s suspension for leading with his helmet against the Bears:
"Guys like that really don’t understand that there is life after football. I respect the league trying to better our game and guys like that, maybe he needs to get suspended or taken out of the game completely."
Meriweather, back from his suspension, responded.
"Listen, everybody’s got their opinion of things, you know. Everybody’s got their opinion. He feels like, you know, I need to be kicked out of the league. I feel like, people who beat their girlfriends should be kicked out of the league too. You tell me who you’d rather have: Somebody who plays aggressive on the field, or somebody who beats up their girlfriend. Everybody’s got their opinion. That’s mine. He’s got his."
Yes, Marshall was charged (but found not guilty) with assaulting his girlfriend in 2008, and a subsequent civil suit was dismissed. In short, there are no rules, either on or off the field. Gentlemen, grab axes and nail guns. It’s PARTY TIME!
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More important, though, was Meriweather’s fume, which like the above was done for the benefit of the Washington Post’s Zac Boyer, about the league’s new fetish for low hits.
”You’ve got to tear people’s ACLs and mess up people’s knees now,” he said. “You can’t hit them high no more. You’ve just got to go low.”
The league office will be much happier with him calling Marshall a woman beater.
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And even being retired doesn’t get you off the hook for refulgent jackassery in the capital. Former Washington Guy Dexter Manley went on WTOP radio in D.C., and when asked about Troy Aikman broadcasting the Washington-Denver game, he blurted out, “I think Troy Aikman’s a queer.” He took it back but chose not to apologize even when urged to by the host, and the station manager went to Twitter to say that Manley would never be on their air again.
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More Washington: Oh goody.
Nancy Pelosi, who works for us in some capacity, has been a tepid critic of the Washington football team’s nickname, making wild and polarizing statements like, “It probably would be a good idea if they changed the name.” That rabid Trotskyite.
But, according to The Hill, she also said that as a tot in Baltimore, before the first version of the Colts arrived in 1953, she was stuck with The Them, and “one of the first songs I ever learned in my whole life was, ‘Hail to the Redskins.’ I didn’t have the faintest idea what I was saying, but I’ve known it forever.”
It probably would be a good idea if she never sang it out loud in public, then. We’re just sayin’.
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And through all this, Danny Snyder said nothing. The non-voice of not stupid, as it were. But he is talking to Roger Goodell this week about his team’s name, while other NFL officials are talking to members of the Oneida Nation about the same thing. A lot of people sure are going to a lot of trouble to end up where they are right now – with Snyder waiting to hear how much it is worth to the world for him to stop annoying them out of spite.
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Saturday night, Will Middlebrooks. Sunday night, Kolten Wong. Monday . . . well, does it matter? In an attempt to further goose ratings, this World Series is being fixed in an exciting new way – not by a predetermined ending for one team or another, but by ways in which the games end, so that you have to stay until the final out. Monday, it was time of game – a ridiculous 2:52.
Still on your bingo cards – triple play, quadruple play (where you can bank the extra out for Game 6), meteor shower, walkoff beanball-leading-to-brawl, Koji Uehara or Trevor Rosenthal closing a game naked, double forfeit and drunken orgy.
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And finally, back to the Atlantic Coast, where Mike Mitchell (the former Raider, of course) is toiling in Carolina and has already given $45,000 in fines back to the league. Or, more specifically according to Mitchell via ESPN.com., “Right in Roger’s pocket," Mitchell said, staring into a television camera. “Right in his pocket. On camera, right in his pocket is where it’s going.”
That’s probably not the correct answer (we know what the league says, but who in their right mind would take them at face value?), but Mitchell can pay his next fine knowing that somewhere, Al Davis is pumping his fist in approval, which may have the point.