Stephen Curry just ruined his 446th career NBA game

I don’t know if Peyton Manning took HGH. I just want it to be true for the following reasons:

1. To see the looks on the faces of the true believers – like that supercilious cheese pimp Papa John.
2. To see how quickly the NFL approves the use of HGH in certain circumstances (like any circumstances claimed by their highest-profile players).
3. To see how quickly Patriot fans demand that Tom Brady be allowed to use black tar heroin to make things “fair” again.
4. To see if Ari Fleischer actually possesses an integumentary system capable of producing sweat.

Hey, you got your dreams, I got mine. And no, you’re not winning the PowerBall, so my dreams are already better than yours.

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I like that soon-to-be ex-San Diego Carsons safety Eric Weddle was fined for watching his daughter perform at halftime of the Chargers’ last home game, because being on the injured list, he surely needed to be in the locker room to help the Chargers seek their elusive fourth win.

But more to the point, his daughter will always know he paid ten grand to watch something she practiced in the family living room 830 times. Parenting – feh.

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Also, “Concussion” was outdrawn this weekend in movie houses by Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip, which means, as we all suspected already, that Will Smith is less culturally relevant than Ross Bagdasarian, who invented the Chipmunks before he died – in 1972.

I hate us, though I admit I hate us less now that I know Johnny Manziel’s last chance has been spent and he will not be punished by the Cleveland Browns for the most NFL reason of all.

They need the milk, even if it tastes like Four Loko.

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From Aaron Gordon of Vice, this life lesson: You can’t stop the psychotically greedy from doing psychotic greed. He found Max Muhleman, the man who invented personal seat licenses (and charged nothing for them in Charlotte, where they began) and hates what has become of his idea the same way that Robert Oppenheimer hated the atomic bomb he helped create.

Then again, the market is a cruel hell-bitch sometimes.

“In the last few years, the (once-booming) PSL market adjusted as teams began charging five and even six figures for seat licenses. Jets fans took a bath on their PSLs, re-selling them for half their original cost at best. 49ers fans looking to bail on their PSLs are also facing major losses. Agnosticism has turned to burning resentment at another instance of billionaire owners profiteering off the regular fan.”

“’Yeah, I take it a little personal because I felt when we did the Charter Seat Rights or PSLs, I thought we were on to something that worked, that it made good music with the sport, the fan, the owners, we could all come together in a harmonious, mutually productive, helpful way,’ he said. ‘But these programs I see, so many of them I can only say are unilateral, and unilateral in favor of how-much-can-we-get-out-of-these-people? And I do not believe the path to success in sports is maximum leverage of fans.”

Max Muhelman. Visionary. Sap.

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Keith Law of ESPN took the high moral ground on the New York Yankees’ trade for reliever Aroldis Chapman:

“If the New York Yankees really want to be the evil empire they're often considered to be, acquiring a player who has been accused of domestic violence would be one way to go about it. While Aroldis Chapman is one of the best one-inning relievers we've ever seen, he faces both a legal investigation into those domestic claims and an MLB investigation that could result in a lengthy suspension, and the Reds' return in Monday's trade reflects the possibility that he'll be charged and/or suspended.”

Keith Law. Sports pundit and idealist. And yes, sap.

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Rex Ryan spent Monday dining on that local delicacy, Buffalo crow wings. After predicting a playoff berth the Bills didn’t get, he ate a plateful for the team.

“We just didn’t produce the wins I thought we would,” Ryan told WGR 550 radio in Buffalo. “The thing that kind of gives this team a black eye when we’re looking at it, is that I let my mouth get ahead of everything. And I think if I would have come in there and just said, ‘Hey, we’re gonna compete’ and do all that stuff, maybe we wouldn’t have such a bad feeling about this team.”

Next year, he should just come out and say, “We intend to suck. Hey, you’re used to that, right?” I mean, if you’re worried about managing expectations, aim low. Very very low.

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And finally, Stephen Curry just ruined his 446th career game. At this rate, he will absolutely vomit all over the second game of the first round of the playoffs.

He’s the worst.