There's only one proper punishment for Mike Tomlin

There's only one proper punishment for Mike Tomlin
December 2, 2013, 8:45 pm
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After losing to the Ravens on Thanksgiving night, Mike Tomlin and the Steelers are 5-7 and in 9th place in the AFC. (USA TODAY IMAGES)

Mike Tomlin decided to defend himself in the oddest possible way for nearly-kind-of-quasi-sluefooting Jacoby Jones Thursday. He told Fox’s Jay Glazer (that isn’t the odd part), “If anybody thinks I or anybody else would do this on purpose they are crazy.”

Well, all coaches ARE crazy by definition. Most coaches WOULD do anything on purpose if they thought they could get away with it. And the only solution for this sort of thing is not a fine or a draft choice forfeiture, but something better.

Tomlin has to play Sunday against the Dolphins. You want to see the game, Mikey? Come on out here and see the game up close.

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Someone apparently celebrated Auburn’s Iron Bowl miracle Saturday by pouring the ashes of a loved one on the field at Jordan-Hare Stadium, which is less unusual than the way the Tigers’ win over Alabama was realized. But then this touching moment was ruined when Scott McElroy, Associate Professor of Crop, Soil and Environmental Sciences at Auburn told The Sporting News, “We're not sure who did it, if it was an Auburn or Alabama fan, if it was somebody's grandmother or their pet Sparky.”

Well, you know the old adage – “When you want to commemorate a special occasion, say it with a dead pet.”

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Remember, you are not “real” fans . . . remember, you are not “real” fans . . . remember, you are not “real” fans . . . remember, you are not “real” fans . . . 

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Did anyone notice that nobody had a problem with Ed Hochuli talking too much Monday night?

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Steve Sarkisian better develop a very close relationship with the USC Band, and fast.

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And finally, according to the Seattle Times, the Seahawks can make the earth move. The University of Washington has a seismometer in a warehouse about a block south of CenturyLink Field, according to earth and space sciences professor John Vidale, and Michael Bennett’s 22-yard fumble return registered about a magnitude 1 or 2 earthquake. The same seismometer measured Marshawn Lynch’s “Beast Quake” in 2011, when his 67-yard touchdown clinched a 41-36 playoff victory, also over the Saints.

Candlestick Park kicked the ass off a 7.1 quake in 1989, which means 49er fans will have nothing in response to that this coming Sunday.