The All-Star Game isn't fun when Pitbull is involved

The All-Star Game isn't fun when Pitbull is involved
July 15, 2013, 11:00 pm
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Major League Baseball decided to torture fans by having Pitbull perform prior to the Home Run Derby. (USA TODAY IMAGES)

Yoenis Cespedes’ Home Run Derby victory caused no end of cringing in Oakland, at least for those who remember Bobby Abreu and all the other wreckage of derbies past. Worse, though, it was one more way that the A’s are getting noticed, and it’s been a quarter-century since people outside the 510 and 925 have noticed the Elefantes.

On the other hand, with so many people already committed to other story lines, Cespedes probably could have hit the home runs naked and not been noticed. After all, it IS New York.

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As for the rest of the festivities at CitiField, it provided a reminder of why the All-Star Game stops being fun once the teams are selected. When you have to wade through Pitbull to get to Prince Fielder, you have lost your damn way.

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Johnny Manziel is about to begin an apology tour for the very best reason there is, and it isn’t his image, or his draftability, or his over-persistent partying, or the comparisons to Marshall Henderson.

It’s because his coach at Texas A&M, Kevin Sumlin, told him to, and Kevin Sumlin is someone you cross if you never want to cross anyone else ever again. Not in the show-business way, but in that room-drops-20-degrees “I’m serious now” way. In the NFL, it’s called a Tomlin Freeze.

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Metta World Peace is more proof that both the New York Knicks, with whom he signed, and the Brooklyn Nets, which has the Kevin Garnett trade, are prohibitive favorites to dominate the 2002 NBA Eastern Conference. If that’s your idea of a good time. Which it isn’t.

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The Denver Broncos suspended Tom Heckart and Matt Russell, their two executives found driving while intoxicated, which is not as surprising as you might think, given that all available research shows them to be the first two front office people to combine for a blood alcohol level that exceeded four. It’s the NFL’s new metric – if the BA reading is twice as high as the number of people tested, suspensions are automatic.

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Reddit’s pro wrestling forum has a poster named “Dolphins1925” who has correctly predicted the last 38 winners in big WWE pay-per-view events (we have this on the authority of Deadspin’s Barry Petcheskey), and has nailed the field so securely that the company has finally noticed the imp. Dolphins1925 wrote:

“I am just a WWE fan like everyone else, and I am getting my information from a source who has VERY credible inside information regarding the outcomes of the matches themselves. Given that this information is out there, we both feel that I should continue to share this information until it garners the attention of WWE. Vince and upper management are not taking reasonable measures to prevent this information from being leaked. These people whom are leaking this information are profiting off it at the expense of the WWE, the fans, and the integrity of the product. It is for these reasons that I am hoping to put an end to WWE insiders leaking PPV outcomes.”

The WWE has noticed, and will no doubt take steps to hide its outcomes better. But Dolphins1925 is also going to get a late-night visit from Arnold Rothstein, who takes a dim view even from beyond the grave of people trying to undo game fixes. I mean, where’s the respect for tradition?

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And finally, Chris Berman finished with 104 “backs” in the Home Run Derby according to a count by The Sporting News’ Troy Machir, which is not a meaningful number unless it is compared to all the other Derbies, and if you are volunteering to do that research, tell your boyfriend, girlfriend, friends and family that you don’t deserve to know true human companionship and must break up.