Last word on Woods, Garcia rivalry

Last word on Woods, Garcia rivalry
May 22, 2013, 10:15 pm
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"It’s time that chicken was freed from its societal shackles and allowed to attain its true destiny." -- Ray Ratto

After listening to Indiana coach Frank Vogel’s carefully crafted and well-thought-out explanation of why Roy Hibbert was not in the game on Miami’s last two possessions, I have come to the conclusion that (a) him copping to the decision as a mistake convinced nobody, and (b) that his real failure was in allowing the Pacers to play a team with LeBron James on it.

Yep. Bad scouting. Kills you every time.
 
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The 49ers took their own sweet time announcing Michael Crabtree’s torn Achilles tendon – a good five hours after it became known through the auspices of USA Today’s Mike Garofalo. It was almost as though they were the Raiders of 10 years ago, and we know what a standard for informational dissemination that team set.

Why the 49ers did this is anyone’s guess, but we know this much. When you look like you’re hiding something, some people think you really are, and when those people sit down at their keyboards, conspiracy theories are made. And when conspiracy theories are hatched, there’s no way to say where they stop, or on whose reputation.

On the other hand, it should also be said that there are no secrets worth holding in May, and the first rule of secret-keeping has always been, “Make sure it’s a secret worth keeping before you go to the trouble of keeping it.” 

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Frank Isola of the New York Daily News, who has been persona non grata around the New York Knicks for years now, just did them the service of breaking the story that Carmelo Anthony has a torn labrum in his shoulder. I’m sure there will be a fruit basket coming his way from a grateful Jimmy Dolan.

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The last word on Tiger Woods, Sergio Garcia and Chickengate (sorry, kids) comes from ESPN’s Bomani Jones, who explained, quite rationally and with delicious breaded logic, that “chicken should unite us, not tear us apart.” His point? Chicken, prepared properly, is good for the nation as a whole. Or at least for the guy with the chicken on his plate.

In other words, this controversy has already run its course. Garcia was a dope, Woods was classically petulant, and it’s time that chicken was freed from its societal shackles and allowed to attain its true destiny – as food.

Though ribs are still better.

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Daniel Alfredsson of Ottawa put the Stanley Cup playoffs in perspective when, after surveying the Senators’ 7-3 loss to Pittbsurgh in Game 4 of their Eastern Conference semifinal and being asked if the Sens could rally and win the series, he said, “It’s probably not feasible.” That may explain why Ottawa coach Paul Mac Lean took no questions after the game and said only this sentence: “We're going to Pittsburgh and we're coming to play.”

In other words, very good seats have suddenly become available for Game 6, if there is one.

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And finally, here’s to Steve Curry, who is now preparing for a relaxing few weeks before returning to training with his friends Donald Lee, Harry Barnes, Jenny Jack, Carport Landry, Danny Bogut, head coach Mack Jarkson and especially owner Luke Jacob. Sincerely, Ed Lee, the duly elected Bear of Stan Fandango.